tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19542247312593015182024-03-13T10:45:31.991-07:00DADsquared℠...changing the world, one family at a time.Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.comBlogger107125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-89890728458926703722020-04-19T10:46:00.000-07:002020-04-19T13:17:46.000-07:00Will You Recognize Me?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-buojw6PT8Hw/Xpx78iGa0PI/AAAAAAAABwI/oxShuq53ffoce22pKR0sK54byzm0ze5XQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/5A636ED8-F1EF-4789-8D82-BC686EB4DF7C.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1263" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-buojw6PT8Hw/Xpx78iGa0PI/AAAAAAAABwI/oxShuq53ffoce22pKR0sK54byzm0ze5XQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/5A636ED8-F1EF-4789-8D82-BC686EB4DF7C.JPG" width="252" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Did I really need a pandemic to force me to look?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At my world?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At poverty?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At inequalities?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At my government?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At my priorities?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At my neighbors?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At my spending?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At my fragility?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At my excuses?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At my naiveté?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At my strengths?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At my weaknesses?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At my truth?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At my relationships?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At myself</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Did I need to be forced to wear a mask in order to silence the voices, starting with my own?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I have spent the majority of my adult life searching for myself, my meaning.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on books and courses and degrees and certifications, all designed to bring me closer to my center, my light, my power.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I even contemplated attending the seminary, not years ago with the aspirations of a young man, no quite recently, even after being crowned a husband and a father.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Always with the idea of service in mind.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When I complete this I will be able to help others.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Wow, that one more certification will surely be the one that will shower me with clarity and insight and all the knowledge I need to be useful...In a special way, a different way, a big way.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My therapist once asked me if I was afraid that I would leave this life without achieving my "<b>One Big Thing</b>".</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I shrugged my shoulders and made the appropriate, hmm? sound as if we were really onto something, thats what you do in therapy no?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And yet always coming back to the realization that this was not entirely for the sake of others, no I'm not nearly as selfless as that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I was the lost and untethered soul. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Waiting on my own salvation and praying to find it in that long and tired-less list owned by and created for others.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My "One Big Thing", is there really such a thing?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Are we defined by our achievements?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Is the person who has claimed their <b>big one</b> any further along than someone who has had many <b>small ones </b>or perhaps even <b>none at all</b>?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">These ideas grand of achievements seem to be taking a hit these days.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Isolated as we are, as we all are, has been creating some very sacred space for allowing the unknown to visit us as never before.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This poem by <a href="http://lynnungar.com/">Lynn Ungar</a> has me thinking..</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What if the virus arrived to force us to do what we would simply would not do on our own.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What if from the these rubles a new society springs forth?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As Lynn writes, <i>a great awakening</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Unprecedented times they are calling it, but can that really be so?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Have we not already been here before in some shape or form as a race?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Uncomfortable perhaps but unprecedented, I'm not too sure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Did we not once spend more time with family, tending gardens, traveling less, trading eggs for milk?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Was this so long ago that we cant even imagine it any longer?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">If we are spared from this virus and I pray that we are, what do we want to be as we emerge?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">How do we want to begin to interact with others? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What will we look like when we remove those protective masks, masks that I dare to say we had been wearing long before the arrival of this virus.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Will we recognize one another as we slowly reenter society?</span></div>
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I for one hope not.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Magical things are happening on the planet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Always the duality between life and death, just as the Universe created it to be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But so much more life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Skies clearing from decades of pollutants.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Mountain tops becoming once again visible.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Oceans and lakes and rivers thriving with life renewed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Families engaging in meaningful and long overdue conversations.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Trust and faith being laid at new feet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Meaning being found in the simplest of places, where they have probably been all along, barely hidden and yet they had seemed invisible to our eyes, that is until these days forced us to look.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What about us as individuals, I hear of layers being stripped away, new habits being formed. realizations popping up here and there that what once seemed so all encompassing and important are not really that at all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Dreams have begun to change collectively. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">People from all over the world have been sharing that sleep brings them new inspirations, bold colors with such a vividness that they could swear they were physically there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Conversations with those long gone so real that the faint scent of them lingers even when the words have stopped.</span></div>
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Researchers are already trying to explain these phenomenons away.</div>
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Will we let them?</div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And if not then what can all of this really mean?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Who will we become if we allow all of this to remain with us even when the gates are opened?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Will you know who I am when I lift my mask?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Will I recognize you when you knock at my door?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What will we say to one another if perhaps physical contact becomes taboo?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Well, we can always start with, hello, so nice to finally see you.</span></div>
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</span>Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-57290106773454170392019-10-24T08:19:00.001-07:002019-10-24T08:19:29.556-07:00Fatherhood, Love and Healing. by Henry Amador-Batten<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo: AwakeningTimes</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I can't remember when it happened, when I stop expecting to see my father. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">I remember far away moments, looking out into an audience or across a room or at either side of friends and family members only to see a vacant seat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I remember distant conversations with my mom finding excuse after excuse for him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><i>He tried honey, </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><i>he would have, </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><i>he really wanted to be here, </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><i>he’ll make it up to you, </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><i>he must have gotten tied up, </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><i>you know how busy daddy is </i>and on and on. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">It’s funny how much we believe those little white lies, how much we need to believe them, right? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">So much so that each one comforts you long enough until the next one is required by our little forming brains and hearts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Long enough to stretch out time and space. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Long enough that you no longer really believe them but still want to hear them and then long enough that there are no expectations left that really matter. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Just a dull dead nod of the head and a deep understanding.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I do not remember when that happened to me. It just did. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">As a dad now myself, so many of those old emotions began to resurface. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">If I had to guess when, it would most probably be when my baby took his first breath.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">The first time I felt the glorious and deafening sound of his cries.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">The first time I knew it was time to stand up and be responsible for his life, his needs, his health, his soul, his - everything.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Oh, that natural slide from needing to see my dad to knowing I would not was a gradual one.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Not steep enough to raise a hair on the neck or cause your stomach to ache </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Not poignant enough to take note or remark or jot down.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">It doesn't get an anniversary date or a plaque or a yearly need to light a candle or pause in silence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">No, it gets nothing and yet is one of the most devastating events a child can ever go through.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Perhaps a deeper wound than one quickly inflicted.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">The kind that is so ferouciously felt then cared for.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Acknowledged, bandaged and healed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">No this one stays alive, it’s just buried under so much ruble and decay that we think it’s gone and oh so long forgotten - but then the moisture from a tear, even a new tear, can find it’s way down to give it ideas of freedom. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">It begins to move and shift and shake it self free from its grave. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">It remembers its power and its roar and how much it has missed you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">It pushes up ever so softly and demandingly, that the body senses something painful is coming. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">This is when the hairs begin to stand and the body feels dis-ease. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">This is when and where that pain lives and aches to be felt. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Be heard. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Be comforted. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Be healed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">As I write this I am sitting across the street from a giant row of old yellow school buses. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I am feverishly trying to get these thoughts down on my phone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Bus number 136 is where my son is sitting and waiting to head out on a school adventure. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">They are at the historic <a href="http://www.carolinatheatre.org/">Carolina Theatre</a> and are about to see the Velveteen Rabbit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">I will be chaperoning, as I always do, and he knows I’m there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">As he was preparing to get on the bus back at school, out they came, all lined up and excited, he immediately began looking around for me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">He knows I'll be waiting in the car ready to follow bus number 136. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">He saw me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">He pointed towards me as he yelled to his friends <i>"hey there’s my dad"</i> and then he and his beautiful gang of 2nd graders began to wave and holler.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">"Quiet down" their teacher needed to say.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">He is nearly 8 and I have been to every school trip he has had. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">What I notice each and every time is that he still looks for me, as if I might not be there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">That breaks my heart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">Not for him, because I will always be there for him and he knows that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium;">No, my heart breaks for that little child still living in me and for all the times my father wasn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium;">My heart breaks for all the children staring out at those many vacant seats.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: medium;">Heal little ones, heal.</span></div>
Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-48237799609381517882019-09-25T16:13:00.004-07:002019-09-25T16:13:57.061-07:00Openning the Circle Wider. A Story about Forgiveness. By Henry Amador-Batten<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><i>"The following is a story I shared with a group of wonderful people.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><i>I share it here today and with you in the hope that even just one person sees themselves reflected in the words and perhaps finds some healing and some peace."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><i>Henry</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">A </span><span style="font-size: 21.33333396911621px;">few</span><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> evenings ago, while tucking my youngest into bed we fell deep into one of those beautifully special and intimate conversations, you all know or remember those talks with your kids, in the dark, snuggled under blankets, when all the world feels fast asleep and nothing but nothing bad could possibly penetrate that little sacred space right?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">As we lay there, he asked me to tell him the story, yet again, about the man I had spoken about in my *Spiritual Odyssey at our UU Fellowship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 21.33333396911621px;"><i>I've</i></span></span><i style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> also been given permission to share this with you all.</i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">Let me back track for just a moment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">While writing my talk I had to dig deep into my past and all the how’s and whys and who’s that I had encountered on my journey.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">I even titled my speech “<i>Follow the Yellow Brick Road</i>” because of how Dorothy’s journey back to her home or herself is so familiar to so many.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">And </span><span style="font-size: 21.33333396911621px;">of course</span><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> because I'm gay and I love all things Judy.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">“Everything you were looking for was right there with you all along,” remember that line?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">Well one of the men I had encountered on my journey was a Faith Healer and Television Evangelist named John Wesley Fletcher, some of you may remember him being involved with Tammy Faye, Jim Bakker and the PTL scandal in the early 1980's.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Well he figured prominently in my youth, in my </span><span style="font-size: 21.33333396911621px;">life's </span><span style="font-size: 16pt;">story and in my presentation research. I began to wonder what had happened to him and I also could not remember the last time I had even thought about him.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">As a young man growing up in South Florida, I was desperately and secretly struggling with my sexuality. My mother was raising me as a single parent with no man in the house and </span><span style="font-size: 21.33333396911621px;">I'm</span><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> sure she found solace in the fact that he had found me, taken an </span><span style="font-size: 21.33333396911621px;">interest in me.</span><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">I spent a lot of time with that man praying for some divine intervention. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">Something, otherworldly that would come down and because of my faith, or more so, if I only had enough faith, would change who I was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">It would cleanse me of the parts of me that felt shameful and wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">I believed it would happen and my rise in his youth group was another indicator that if I only believed more and trusted more, I would find the cure I was looking for, the one that John had promised me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">But we all know how those stories end don’t we?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">I involved Ben in this part of my journey because, believe it or not, we found the end of John’s story right here in our present home city of Durham NC, at his grave site in the Maplewood Cemetery where he was buried.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">He passed away from Aids related complications in 1996 at the age of 56.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">I will be 56 this October.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">You see, he was and always had been the exact thing I was trying so desperately to pray away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">Finding him in the cemetery was an adventure within itself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">They gave us a grave number and a map. It felt a bit like we were searching for some star’s home with one of those cheap maps you can buy on the corner of Hollywood and vine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">He was a larger than life figure to me, especially in my younger minds eye and I was certain we would find him easily by the grandeur of his monument, but this could not have been further from the truth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">No, his simple marker was barely visible to the naked eye, had obviously not been visited in a very long time and was completely overgrown with weeds and grass that had crept up and all around it with time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">I knelt down in front of it and instinctively began to pull the weeds and clean it off. I think I told myself that it was so that I could take a photo but truthfully, I felt surprisingly sad for him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">It reminded me of those moments after my mother had passed where I calmly and seemingly without thought got a warm washcloth from the hospice bathroom and washed her face, her hands and then her feet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">It felt cleansing and meaningful, for me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">You could call it a story of redemption, a story of not abandoning, of going out to reclaim myself and perhaps in turn, him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">I'm not certain, but I do know that h</span><span style="font-size: 16pt;">e died alone and broke and broken and that by showing Ben that simple act of kindness we, together, brought him back into the circle of human love and care. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">He had done so much wrong to so many but now through different lenses I can see that he was just another human being doing what he could with what he had.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">And no-one belongs outside the circle, not even him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">I shared this story with Ben to help him understand that we can never run from who we are and that we are all worthy of compassion and of understanding and yes, of forgiveness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">I had, without even knowing, closed a wound whose pain I had apparently grown numb too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">And I had the honor to close that very deep and profound chapter of my life with my child by my side.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">I would be having these conversations with our children regardless of the city we lived in or the fellowship we belonged to because this is our truth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">We would be talking about diversity and acceptance and community regardless of where we are because we are citizens of this World and there will always be someone who will challenge our sons and conversely they will always be faced with the opportunity to feel better than or superior to another person who’s path they may cross.</span><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Yes, we would be telling them our stories and helping them understand differences and compassion no matter where we lie our heads down to sleep - but how fortunate are we to have found this loving place and all of you loving people, who fundamentally believe in the principles that we believe in and who also offer us a space to reinforce those foundations <o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 21.33333396911621px;">publicly.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">The lives that are led here, the examples that are set here all make us feel as though we are not </span><span style="font-size: 21.33333396911621px;">traveling</span><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> this road alone.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">I don’t only mean because flags are flown, rainbow lanyards are worn, or pride is felt for </span><span style="font-size: 21.33333396911621px;">identifying as</span><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> an ally - although all of those things are truly amazing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">No, but it is because I know, that late at night when you are snuggled in your beds, covered in warm blankets and all the world is asleep, that in those tender moments, in your sacred spaces, you all share our beliefs and our values and you honestly hold us in your hearts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">And that my friends means more than words can fully express.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;">Namaste</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><i>*Spiritual Odyssey - a talk given by members of a Unitarian Universalist Congregation sharing how thier spiritual journey has gotten them to present day.</i></span></div>
Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-67044596807482633322019-04-24T09:45:00.002-07:002019-04-25T12:53:48.462-07:00Mad Hippie Love.. <div>
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So I will be turning 56 this coming Fall.</div>
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I can hardly believe it. </div>
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Quite honestly I have never really felt my age.</div>
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I often joke that the reason why my marriage is so successful, despite our 13 year difference in age, is that my husband is so mature and I, well not so much.</div>
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The past few years, as some of you know, have been difficult.</div>
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Unlike years gone by I never noticed the changes in my face but when I hit 50 I started to become so much more aware of my skin.</div>
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I was also keenly aware that I had not been caring for myself as I once did.</div>
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Kids do that to us right?</div>
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Not enough sleep, stress, unhealthy diets and on and on.</div>
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Well, last year I decided to do something about it.</div>
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Nothing grand nor earth shattering.</div>
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Nothing that required a moving truck, scalpel or a divorce lawyer.</div>
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It was a tiny move that has changed my life.</div>
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Mad Hippie Love...</div>
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Not this kind,</div>
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But rather this kind...<br />
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Yes, I changed my skin care..<br />
<a href="http://www.madhippie.com/">Mad Hippie Advanced Skin Care</a> has given me tiny glimpses of hope and excitement back.<br />
I started hearing how good I looked again and that means so much.<br />
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I used to be that guy that thought I needed a "mens" line because, well, I am a man.<br />
Honestly folks, skin and hair know no gender.<br />
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I was drawn to the line by it's vibe, its look and it's scents.<br />
I've stayed with the line because it works.<br />
I've had zero breakouts.<br />
My dry patches are a thing of the past.<br />
I look youthful but don't feel oily.<br />
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The products are..<br />
Cruelty-free<br />
Petrochemicals-free<br />
GMO-free<br />
Vegan, except for the beeswax in the SPF<br />
Paraben-free<br />
Synthetic Dye-free<br />
SLS-free and<br />
Silicone-free<br />
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Unfortunately the products are not free but considering how very little you need, the cost is amazing. And they don't even come close to the big ticket products that gave me no results.<br />
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And $1 dollar of every web-sale goes to conservation.<br />
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So to all my gay dad friends and to all my non-gay-dad friends alike, you owe it to yourself to do something special for yourself.<br />
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Start simple, start small, start in the comfort of your home and you may just surprise yourself with what <a href="http://www.madhippie.com/">CRAZY MAD HIPPIE</a> thing you might do next.<br />
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Tell em' DADsquared sent ya!<br />
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Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-82920624405933448522019-04-07T17:37:00.001-07:002019-04-07T17:37:20.787-07:00Mirror Mirror On The Wall, Where Am I? A Look At Depression by Henry Amador-Batten<br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am a man of deep self reflection, I often pause, contemplate and when able, I try to correct.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I believe that the road to self awareness and discovery requires many moments spent looking into your own eyes and being prepared to embrace what you see.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Lately I have been all to often disappointed with the man that looks back at me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He was always kindhearted, spirited, loving and had a amazing sense of humor.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He was the guy you turned to when things were tough and the first guy you would call when it was time for a celebration.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He was that<i> go to </i>fellow that would never let you down.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But now? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now I barely trust him to make it through a day unscathed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don't trust him with my own secrets and I certainly would not entrust him with anything you hold too dear.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Over the past 4 years I have been dealing with depression, apparently somewhat severe.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is so easy to think that the root of your sadness is any one of a million things that bombard you on a daily basis.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I had a debilitating accident that took my career away and sent us spiraling financially but more importantly emotionally for a long while, that could be it right?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have put on a good (or perhaps, not so good) fifty+ pounds, but that is probably because I became so much less active after my accident right?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My marriage began to lose a bit of its intimacy but that's probably the extra weight wouldn't you agree? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I mean I hardly feel sexy, sexual.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or it could be because of the strain forces on us by the accident and literally losing half of our income in an instant.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or may be it's because of what began to happen to us when we brought our adopted son into our home, that's probably really it, I think.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or it could be my Fathers passing in 2018, I always referred to our relationship as torn, tattered and taped. He left when I was very young baby and posed in when he felt so inclined.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There were probably more things I <i>should</i> have done towards the end of his life but I just did what I <i>could </i>and what was expected of me, no more and no less.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But that is part of what of what depression does to your mind, It keeps you coasting but not diving or jumping to deep or to high.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I had three surgeries in 2016 and I'm in a state of chronic pain. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There is one last surgery available for me, a reverse shoulder replacement, but sadly I am too young for it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This specific procedure comes with an expiration date and if I have it now, in my mid fifties, I may end up far worse than I am right now and with many precious years left of life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I have to medicate to feel myself or chose motionlessness which I'm rarely comfortable with, I said rarely, but not never.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So the constant pain is probably why I always tend to fall on the darker side of things right?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's probably why I am so much less active, feel less attractive, worry about my marriage and struggle so desperately dealing with our eldest sons mental health issues, right?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or perhaps it's because I find myself at 55 struggling with my identities, my spiritual, physical, emotional, parental, financial and marital identities.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You see, that right there is why so many people, men especially miss the signs of real depression. Men who are three times more likely to commit suicide than women, have such a difficult time asking for <b>HELP! </b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></b>
<a href="https://www.bustle.com/p/men-dont-go-to-therapy-nearly-as-much-as-women-researchers-are-trying-to-figure-out-why-5550931"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">https://www.bustle.com/p/men-dont-go-to-therapy-nearly-as-much-as-women-researchers-are-trying-to-figure-out-why-5550931</span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There are so many other things to blame your feelings on, and its oh so easy to say that once one thing clears up you will be able to tackle another, or to fool yourself into believing that as soon as a specific problem goes away, it will some how grab a handful of others and together skedaddle off into the sunset.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Only then leaving you able to breathe and laugh and feel at peace again.</span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></b>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now I am not saying that many people aren't able to deal with all sorts of thing and still function happily and naturally.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was one of them and I rocked it for 50 years!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here is where I stand up and take a bow.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But for so many others, those joy-filled moments lessen and lessen.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The mornings when you awake ready to tackle the day start to feel a bit abstract.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The last time you accepted an invitation to hang out with friends feels like forever ago.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The vision boards are dusty.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The Summer plans are left dangeling.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The Laundry wins.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Clean eating and cooking feels momentous and <b>all you want to do is sleep</b>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sleep is where you feel light and hopeful, sleep is where the possibilities for a different day might come, and yet they don't come, and when they may is simply an uncertainty.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">No, for people like that, people like me, asking for help is the only way through it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Look in that mirror and ask your self just how long you haven't loved who you see.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Be honest and then reach in, reach up and reach out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We're all worth it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline : 1-800-273-TALK (8255)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The GLBT National Hotline : 1-888-843-4564</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The GLBT National Youth Talkline 1-800-246-7743</span><br />
<br />Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-72896700426525056532019-03-31T17:08:00.001-07:002019-03-31T17:08:25.381-07:00What's left when all else fails? A dark look at adoption. By Henry Amador-Batten<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jVkk_6aMQN4/XJ0Itl4pAnI/AAAAAAAABk4/uNBRg00aEXg1uBLuFtn4rwvpmM2i9VRbgCLcBGAs/s1600/car.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="678" data-original-width="1024" height="263" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jVkk_6aMQN4/XJ0Itl4pAnI/AAAAAAAABk4/uNBRg00aEXg1uBLuFtn4rwvpmM2i9VRbgCLcBGAs/s400/car.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">devastation</td></tr>
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Some of you have followed our adoption journey.<br />
You watched or read from the shadows as our little family of three grew to become four.<br />
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A little back story for our new friends.<br />
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My husband and I adopted our Ben at birth.<br />
We were living in South Florida at the time.<br />
He came into this world in October of 2011, almost exactly two years after we were married in Boston, MA.<br />
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I honestly can't look back on my life and remember a more happy time, perhaps our wedding day but that's a close call.<br />
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There are definitely pressures and fears that creep into most all adoption stories, especially when your a same gender couple, the year is 2010, the birth-mother has troubles and the nation had yet to legally recognize our family.<br />
But all of those scary thoughts and memories drifted away with each of his beautiful smiles and laughs.<br />
They took flight at each and every amazing milestone.<br />
They never stood a chance with each year that we celebrated another holiday,<br />
and they were certainly no match for the love that grew within us for this little human being.<br />
A love that still brings me to my knees with gratitude.<br />
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But this is not that story.<br />
Our family came through those trials triumphantly.<br />
The Universe stayed by our side and guided all the powers that be so that he could be ours.<br />
And now, 7 and a half years later, he is still a daily reminder of just how lucky we are.<br />
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No this story starts in 2016 in a completely different state with a completely different little boy and a hope that he too could be ours.<br />
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Joel and I had decided that the time was finally right for us to add to our family.<br />
We decided that the foster care system would be the way and that just like in 2011 the Universe would certainly help us along.<br />
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We're not that tight right now, the Universe and I, but I'm working on it.<br />
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We went through the process and became foster parents.<br />
The room was furnished and prepared for whatever/whoever may have came our way.<br />
We had engaged in all the age appropriate conversations that Ben needed and we settled back, comfortably knowing that we were ready for this next big step in our lives.<br />
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One evening, while Ben slept and I waited for my husband to get home from work, I was occupying my time by looking at photos and videos of children available for adoption.<br />
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I ran across a little boy, just about five years old at the time the video was filmed. He sat so proudly in a crisp blue shirt answering a list of questions being asked by a mysterious person off camera.<br />
"What is your favorite color?" he was asked. "Blue" he replied as he gently touched his blue shirt.<br />
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You could tell by the creases in the shirt that it had just come out of a package, you could also tell by the way he touched it that he felt special in it.<br />
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The rest of the questions you could easily guess yourself.<br />
What do you like to do?<br />
What do you like to play with?<br />
Who is your favorite super hero?<br />
Cartoon?<br />
Food?<br />
Place to play?<br />
And on and on.<br />
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Finally the big one, what type of family do you want?<br />
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Yes, that one got me too, brought me to tears and as if possessed by some paternal force, my fingers clicked on his link for more info.<br />
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What was his answer about a family you ask?<br />
Something along the lines of, a family that will love me and take care of me.<br />
He had already been in the foster care system for around two years and I'm certain he had heard those phrases many times before.<br />
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Thats where it all started.<br />
It all started with that little boy who could make anyone fall in love with him in mere minutes.<br />
A very intelligent little boy that that on only our second "date" asked us if we would be his daddies.<br />
A boy that after meeting with more therapist and psychiatrist than I can count, leaves them all saying the same thing, "wow, he sure knows how to say what I want to hear."<br />
A little person that not twenty four hours after we unpacked his bag calmly let us know that he hated everything about us and that his caseworker had made him choose us.<br />
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That statement has become pretty much his daily mantra and now all these years later, we're inclined to believe him.<br />
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<i>So right now you might be saying, come on now, he's was just a baby, children that age are not that cunning or manipulative. </i><br />
<i>You might want to stop reading right now but I need to remind you that this is a story about things that have gone terribly wrong, this is not a happily ever after story, yet, and it may very well never be. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>I urge you to read on for as Blaise Pascal said, <b>"between us and Heaven or Hell there is only life which is the frailest thing in the world."</b></i><br />
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"Well Mr. Amador-Batten, I've only ever had two cases where parents chose to terminate their adoption, both times they had to accept a neglect/abandonment charge, I don't think you and your husband would like to have that charge, would you?"<br />
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That was what the newest caseworker told us ( I paraphrased) after I sent an email saying that we were ready to make him re-available to be adopted, in other words, terminate our parental rights.<br />
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This email was sent three years after he came into our home and two years after his adoption was finalized.<br />
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This email was sent after a year and a half of intensive in home therapy, after two rounds of parent and child centered therapy, after two hospital stays at a psychiatric children's unit for attempting to take his life and consequently putting ours in danger, after living in a residential treatment facility for nine months and now having challenges at a step down program.<br />
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As I write this he is being referred and recommended to go back to another residential psychiatric facility.<br />
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Does it sound like he is thriving in our home?<br />
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All of this in three short years.<br />
He is now nine.<br />
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<i>I know, and I can be that little voice in your head that says, how could they do that? how could they have a child for three years and want to send him away? how could anybody be so heartless?</i><br />
<i><br /></i><i>Please know, there is not a single thought in your head that does not already reign in mine.</i><br />
<i>There is not another idea or solution, thus far, that we have not already had or tried.</i><br />
<i>There is not another class, support group, therapist or minister that we have not already taken, joined or sat with.</i><br />
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No, no reasonably intelligent and loving person sends an email like that easily, its rather a last resort, it's what you do when all else seems to have failed.<br />
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It's what you do when not giving up on the <b>one </b>feels like your having to give up on the <b>all.</b><br />
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This would probably be a good place to stop right?<br />
We're neck deep right now in attorneys, caseworkers, psychiatrist and our hearts.<br />
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I'll be back with more soon but until then I leave you with some questions to ponder.<br />
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What do you do when you look into the eyes of the people you love and see only devastation?<br />
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What do you do when you feel as though you've reached the end of the road?<br />
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To what lengths would you go to save your family?<br />
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<br />Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-32561283255718239672016-06-17T08:36:00.000-07:002016-06-17T08:36:00.700-07:00DADsquared Writer Dara Fisher's Thoughts On The Massacre In Orlando<br />
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By Dara Fisher<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">On Sunday
morning I was in the car with my husband on our way to Palm Springs to enjoy my
only day off when I used my phone to go online and see what was going on in the
World.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">At the moment, I am working about
75 hours a week between my real job and the new position I took at a local
non-profit for kids so I haven’t been tuned into most of what is happening
these days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">As I went through my
Facebook feed, I kept seeing Orlando so I clicked on a link and it felt like I
had been punched in the chest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t
breathe and trying to speak to my husband about what I was reading was
difficult because I couldn’t stop crying.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">There are so
many things wrong with this horrific event.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>First and foremost, we have lost 49 members of our community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That, in and of itself, is a tragedy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Beyond that, this was the result of so many
things that our wrong with the human race.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have thought a lot about what happened over the past week and I would
like to say a few things about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This was not
a terrorist attack, this was a hate crime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The nightclub chosen by the murderer was picked specifically because of
the clientele it served.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The gay
community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">While many on the right side
of the fence are going to stick staunchly to this being a terrorist attack, the
murderer claiming ISIS connections, I don’t buy it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is nothing but a scapegoat to use this
tragedy as a way to facilitate the ongoing war against terrorism, an important
issue but separate from what happened.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I will not
be using the murderer’s name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He doesn’t
deserve to be acknowledged as a human being and I don’t care what his name
was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I read through the list of the 49
people who lost their lives, I read their ages, I read the stories their
families shared about them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I care about
the people we lost, not the one who did it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am not going to judge the man, God will sort that out and if he’s
lucky, the Bible is telling the truth about our Alpha Omega being merciful and
maybe he will get the help he severely needs on the other side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though I wouldn’t be willing to bet my money
on it since the Bible also claims homosexuals are an abomination and I believe
with everything in me that God was waiting for his 49 children when they came
home on Saturday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The first
thing that came to my mind as I read about what happened in Pulse on Saturday
night was, “I wish this would be a wakeup call to the World so they will see
the fear we live with in the gay community.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Sadly, I don’t think that is going to be the outcome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The internet is already flooded with videos
of holier-than-thou pretenders to the righteous throne who are either blatantly
supporting the murder of 49 people or at least preaching justification for the
murderer’s actions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not a
particularly religious person, or rather an organized religion follower, but I
do believe in a God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a hard time
believing that God would have wanted 49 of his children to die in such a
manner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the largest attack on
the gay community in history.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
violent nature of the attack and the fact that a specific group was targeted
should be what catches the public’s attention.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">When I spoke
to my Dad about it, the thing I kept going back to was how the gay community is
easily one of the kindest and most loving cultures out there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When was the last time you heard of members
of the gay community protesting with violence?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I can’t think of too many and the violence that has taken place wasn’t
in aggression but rather self-defense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And even those events are rare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
have gone to my fair share of Pride events, parades, and the like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are always an amazing experience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you are at a Pride event, you feel
welcome, regardless of your affiliation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is always fun to be had, smiles all around, and a warmth that is
unmatched anywhere else, except maybe your Grandma’s kitchen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We don’t seek to cause harm to others, even
those who have acted against us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we
are faced with adversaries, we try to explain our side and try to get them to
understand us, even if they can never fully accept us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Another
important point that needs to be made is that this man was a homosexual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or as my Dad would put it…queer as a three
dollar bill.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Regardless of his marriage
to a woman, this was a gay man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was a
gay man who was raised in a culture and religion that considers homosexuality
to be worthy of being executed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Islamic
terrorists film themselves murdering innocent people in the most horrific ways
possible for no reason other than the person being gay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He spent his entire life having to hide his
sexuality and I would imagine living in fear of being found out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> right wing can point fingers all they
want but Christians are in the same boat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>All the stories about these anti-gay legislation signing politicians
being caught in gay sex scandals and preachers with Grindr accounts should say
something very clear, condemning people for their sexuality, something they are
born as and a part of them they had no control over, causes severe mental and
emotional problems.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The end result of these
problems is the tragedies that are bound to happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The teenagers that are hanging themselves in
their bedrooms because someone found out about them and spread it around
school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The man who gets infected with
HIV because he is Catholic and rather than live openly gay, he has clandestine
meet ups with strangers and ends up with a terminal disease.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The people who marry opposite sex partners to
keep up the façade and spend their lives miserable, usually messing up their
spouse and kids in the process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I’ve
seen it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How about we lift the
stigma of being gay and let people live their lives openly and find
happiness?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Happy people don’t sit in
dark rooms thinking of ways to kill themselves and/or other people.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Recently it
came to my attention that my son is actively bisexual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had told us a few years ago that he was
interested in both genders but at almost 16, he is actually going out into the
dating world and getting involved with people regardless of what they have
between their legs.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I found this out through someone I knew in high school
because my son lives openly, having been taught from an early age that we don’t
live in closets no matter what we end up being. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This person asked me what I
intended to do about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It hadn’t even
occurred to me that any action was necessary on my part but for the sake of
quelling her fears, I told her that I expect my son to make sure I know if I
need to buy a boutonniere or a corsage for prom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t want to be tacky by being
unprepared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will also make sure we
match the flower with his partner’s outfit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The strange look I got made me smile the rest of the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That woman can be as nasty as she wants to be
about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is welcome to have her
opinion about homosexuality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What she is
not welcome to do is have an opinion about my child, my family, and how we
choose to deal or not deal with our son’s sexuality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">What do I think the end result is going to
be?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think my son is going to continue
to be a good, honest, and well-rounded person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He isn’t going to be the sulky guy sitting in his room in front of a
computer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s going to live in the sun and had the
murderer’s family and community been more accepting of homosexuality and the
gay community, I think there would be 49 more members of our community.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">As
heartbroken and angry as we are in our community, we have to pull ourselves
together and look toward the future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
49 people who died on Saturday deserve that from us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have to keep pushing towards equality and
acceptance so we can prevent tragedies like this happening again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those who don’t know history are bound to
repeat it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s keep this candle
burning, make sure our kids and our grandkids know what happened in a nightclub
in Florida.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">Dara Fisher. A 33 year old Mother of 3 amazing children with her Prince Charming Keith. </span></i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><i><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">They live right outside of Palm Springs, California. Dara has degrees in Anthropology, Liberal Arts, and Business Administration. </span><br /><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">She works full time in the Hospitality Industry and attends college classes in pursuit of her MBA when she's not busy being Super Mom. </span><br /><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">She spend her spare time crocheting, quilting, and making a mess with pretty much anything she can get my hands into. She is a huge <b>Doctor Who</b>fan and can't eat while watching <b>The Walking Dead. </b></span><br /><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">Oh and she also happens to be the daughter of gay parents and the Mother of a child with Asbergers Syndrome and ADHD</span></i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><i><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></i></span></span>
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">Photo Alex Garland</span></span></span></div>
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Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-34406999225047174322016-01-20T08:43:00.001-08:002016-01-20T08:53:38.667-08:00The Changing Face Of The Gay Community And Just Who It Belongs To.<br />
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By Dara Fisher<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Recently I
had a conversation with a friend from high school that caused the wheels in my
head to start turning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">He is gay,
though we’ve been friends since before he came to that realization.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He jokingly called me a “fag hag” and I was
taken aback.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve had several people
call me that name before but they were folks that didn’t know me personally or
at least well enough to know that my existence in the gay community is one I
was born into, not chosen as a social situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This friend however is very familiar with my
family and knows my gay parents.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">When I
protested his label by saying that I’m not a fag hag but rather a member of the
gay community, he informed me in no uncertain terms that I was not actually
part of the gay community because I am not a lesbian myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had a few little exchanges and ultimately,
we left at the agree to disagree point because he wasn’t willing to listen to
my point of view and being as stubborn as I am, I certainly wasn’t going to let
him tell me that I didn’t deserve to be part of a community that technically I
have been a part of longer than </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">he has.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">KGP’s, (Kids
of Gay Parents) are part of the gay community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I jokingly say that we are the chosen ones but it’s not far from the
truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our parents intentionally created
us, adopted us, or inherited us with the purpose of having a family and being
part of the gay community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very few of
us are “accidents” because homosexuals of the same gender can’t get each other
pregnant, no matter how hard they try.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When our parents decided to raise kids, it wasn’t with the intention
that they were going to raise us like straight people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of us have a social group of adopted
lesbian aunts and gay uncles that make up our family units.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We aren’t raised with the same limitations as
some of the kids in the straight community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I can’t
speak for all KGP’s but in my case, my parents couldn’t have cared less what my
sexuality ended up being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They also
didn’t care that I was a girl but spent the majority of my time on hobbies that
would be considered masculine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being a
tomboy was perfectly okay and neither of my parents ever made a judgement call
on it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t have traditional gender
roles that taught me to adhere to a specified path based on my genitals so I
got to explore the world as a human being, not just a girl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Ultimately,
I ended up being a girl who is brave, opinionated, intelligent, and kind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t fear judgement because I grew up with
people around me who supported who I was and who I became. I also learned that
opinions are like backsides, everyone has one. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">As a parent
myself, I adhere to the same policy as my parents in regards to how I raise my
kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t want my children to follow
the rules society has decided must be enforced.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I want them to be who they want to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My son is a soft spoken self-professed nerd and my daughter is a tough
as nails, take no crap girl who is tougher than most boys I know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rather than force them to adhere to the rules
society has assigned to their gender, my kids live as individuals. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Interestingly,
there is no official inclusion of KGP’s in the gay community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The community has expanded to include
transsexuals, gender fluid, pansexuals, and more yet there isn’t an actual
statement of inclusion for those of us who are born into the gay
community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That makes me sad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel like I have to explain why I am part
of the gay community because we aren’t openly accepted yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes it feels like we are a suburb of
the gay community when we should be treated in the same regard as everyone
else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">My friend’s reaction to my
statement about being part of the gay community pretty much sums up how I feel
about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because I am not a homosexual
myself, I’m not allowed to consider myself part of the community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like the gay community is some type of
exclusive club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I think of the gay
community, I consider all forms of alternate sexualities to be included.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I consider the friends and family of
homosexuals to be included.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would even
include the members of the straight community who support gay rights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So it seems natural that the children and
grandchildren of homosexuals should be part of the gay community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, we are the next generation of gay
rights activists who are privy to the inside workings of the gay community and
who will be carrying out our parents legacy and history.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 17px;">Growing up within
the gay community has given me a lot of insight in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have personally worked to educate people on
gay rights and gay issues because I have the ability to share my life
experience and in a few cases, change the way society sees the gay community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have spoken extensively about AIDS in hopes
of removing the stigma the straight community has stuck to the gay
community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a coworker who thought
all gay men had AIDS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent two hours
explaining to her that HIV/AIDS is not a gay disease, it is a bodily fluid
disease that can be contracted just as easily by heterosexuals as by gay
men.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also clarified that no, not all
gay men have HIV/AIDS.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">A hot topic
I vehemently fight against is the pedophilia accusations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is one of the things that angers me to
my very soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been asked and
several people have assumed that my father was a child molester because he is
gay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have even been asked if my Dad
molested me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Usually my response
includes a few curse words and a cheeky statement about me not being my Dad’s
type but it still makes me furious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
religious zealots are the usual suspects in the gay men are equal to pedophiles
arguments and most of the time I realize that I am sparing with an unarmed
opponent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also have come to the
understanding that I am the poster child for gay families.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">There aren’t
a ton of people my age that were raised in gay families.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While there are adult children of gay
parents, gay families didn’t become mainstream until fairly recently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are a lot of questions people have
about the outcome for children that are raised by gay parents and within the
gay community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I appreciate being
able to speak and advocate for the gay community to society as a whole, my
personal favorite part of being a KGP is being able to speak to other gay
families and let them know that their kids are going to turn out great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There seems to be an underlying fear of the
outcome of gay parents raising kids, even within the gay community itself and I
feel privileged to be able to represent the “final product” if you will of gay
families.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I recently read a study where
they took a sample of adult children of gay families and reported their
findings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The KGP’s involved in this
study seemed to portray being raised in a gay family as a negative thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Supposedly they had self-esteem issues,
professional problems, and social problems.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The study claimed to represent the true cost of being raised in a gay
family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was surprised by the study
because I know a lot of KGP’s and I have yet to witness this type of
outcome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As an academic, my first
thought was to see who created the study and how they ascertained their study
samples.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The study was done by a
Christian foundation and their subjects were pulled from mental health facilities!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They specifically studied people who reported
having mental health problems that they blamed on their gay parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This “Christian” foundation intentionally
skewed their results and knowingly published false information with the intent
to mislead the public into believing that gay families were dangerous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course what they didn’t report was all of
us who have no mental health issues from our upbringing and have progressed
through our lives on par with our straight raised contemporaries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Had they used the methods taught in
elementary statistics to gather their study subjects, what they would have
found is that baring mental health issues, we all turn out okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">All of the KGP’s I know are happy,
well-rounded, college educated people with their own families.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can think of only one case in which the KGP
had issues later in life and those weren’t because she was raised by gay
parents, it was because she already had mental health issues when she was
adopted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we aren’t considered part of
the gay community, why is it that we represent some of the best the gay
community has to offer?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">As we become
adults, KGP’s have a tendency to stay tied to the gay community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because we are no different than any other human being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you grow up in the Irish-American
community, you tend to stay within that community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you were raised as a gypsy, you will
remain a gypsy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As humans, we are drawn
to our people and our community represents our safe place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The same concept applies to KGPs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we grow up, we have a tendency to remain
close to the gay community and participate actively in the community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Over the years I have been involved in such
things as gay pride parades, assisted some of the local HIV/AIDS charities,
spoken to groups about issues that affect the gay community and specifically
gay families, and been a vocal supporter of not just gay rights but human
rights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that not everyone agrees
that KGP’s should be considered part of the gay community but as a community
that is progressing by leaps and bounds daily, we represent a growing part of
the gay community and ignoring our existence isn’t going to change that.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">Dara Fisher. A 33 year old Mother of 3 amazing children with her Prince Charming Keith. </span></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><i><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">They live right outside of Palm Springs, California. Dara has degrees in Anthropology, Liberal Arts, and Business Administration. </span><br /><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">She works full time in the Hospitality Industry and attends college classes in pursuit of her MBA when she's not busy being Super Mom. </span><br /><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">She spend her spare time crocheting, quilting, and making a mess with pretty much anything she can get my hands into. She is a huge <b>Doctor Who</b>fan and can't eat while watching <b>The Walking Dead. </b></span><br /><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">Oh and she also happens to be the daughter of gay parents and the Mother of a child with Asbergers Syndrome and ADHD</span></i></span></div>
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Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-24469281502564989732015-05-28T10:37:00.000-07:002015-05-28T10:37:26.533-07:00Mother’s Day Through A Gay Dad’s Eyes<br />
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Another Mother’s Day is right around the corner.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Our fourth since our son was born.</div>
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As any writer will tell you, especially a gay dad writer, this day gives birth (pun intended) to many articles about how our types of families handle this yearly event.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And let me tell you, that there are countless scenarios playing out all over this great big world of ours, this is just humbly.. mine.</div>
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Read full article <a href="http://thenextfamily.com/2015/05/gay-dads-and-mothers-day/">HERE</a></div>
Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-64422320158568842182015-05-28T10:33:00.001-07:002015-05-28T10:33:23.155-07:00A Gay Father’s Simple Hopes For Justice Sotomayor<div style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Droid Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 26px; padding: 0px;">
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So I would never use the word intelligent to describe myself.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I am far from a thinker or an over analytical man.</div>
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I am much simpler than that, more basic, I’m a feeler.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I trust my gut and my instincts and I make every attempt to move away from what what I perceive as pain and move towards what my spirit senses as pleasure. The pain/pleasure principle.</div>
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I also believe in making as many decisions as I can sourced from inspiration rather than desperation.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />That little concept, I believe, can change lives.</div>
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Read full article <a href="http://thenextfamily.com/2015/05/a-gay-dads-thoughts-on-the-supreme-court-ruling/">HERE</a></div>
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Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-46368043573937266592015-03-23T11:17:00.001-07:002015-03-23T11:17:29.468-07:00After Eight Years A Gay Dad Can Finally Call His Boy, His Son. By Joey Troxel<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Feb 5<sup>th</sup>, 2015.
We waited 8 years for this day.
When people ask me about my boy, I always say it’s a very complicated
story. Really, its not that complicated,
but I don’t want to tell it in a way that makes anyone involved look as if they
made mistakes or that somehow our boy was deprived in any way. It all started 8 years ago when my sister
realized she was pregnant. She had
always told me that she didn’t want kids, she just wanted dogs. I am 18 years older than her so I have known
her for her whole life. We talked about her options. She was dating the child’s birth father and
they really wanted to make it work between them, but it just didn’t. Relationships are tricky. Adding a baby to the mix at an early stage
can really scare a new couple even thought these two knew each other from high
school. My sister had mentioned to me
that T and I would be great dads. I was
somewhat shocked. T and I were a gay
couple in our 40’s, with very active Gym based lives, a historic home in
Central Phoenix that we were in the middle of remodeling and we both had
careers that we were excelling in. I
told her that I had never thought about kids before. Of course, at that time, I had never thought
about marriage also. Who could have foreseen
that coming just 8 years ago? Still, the
seed had been planted in my head. T and
I talked about it and it was a scary idea.
We really were just self-absorbed with our own well-being and why would
we want to compromise that?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Still, my sister was going through something she knew she
was not going to be able to follow through with afterwards. As the months drew on, and we got closer to
the due date, my feelings started to evolve.
T and I started getting excited about having a baby in the family. This
would be my first nephew. I wanted to
give him everything. My sister still
talked about putting the baby up for adoption, but I was sure she would see his
beautiful face when he was born and that would be the end of that kind of
talk. <o:p></o:p></div>
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October finally came and the birth day arrived. Our little guy was born. It was tough because I was the second person
to hold him (After my mother of course) but once grandma passed him over to me,
I was in awe. I felt something inside of
me that I could not have predicted. I
was overcome with joy for this little guy.
I was also crying for some reason.
I felt scared that something would happen to him and I felt excited for
all the possibilities of being born in this great technological age. There was so much I wanted to teach
him. This was tough for me. While I was immediately attached to him, he
wasn’t my son. He was my sister’s
son. I kept my distance emotionally but
still I was there every day to help him get through his new life . As the first year went on, we watched my
sister try and form a mother’s attachment to our new little guy. But we came to a point where we all knew she
was right all along. This was not the
life she wanted nor did she want to put a child through something that wouldn’t
be anything but the best for him. We
decided to make the switch and our little guy came to live with us. By this time, I had already given up my home
office and converted it into the most awesome Thomas the Tank Engine room
anyone has every seen. Now that we had a
child living with us full time, we realized that one of us would have to quit
our jobs to stay home and be an at home dad.
I decided to give up my career as a computer network engineer so my
partner could keep his job at the
hospital. I got a real estate
license which would allow me to work my own hours and from home. We told my sister that we would keep him
until she got to a point where she wanted him back. When that time comes, she could take
him. We thought we had it all figured
out. Ill stay home with the baby, T will
work, and I will do the domestic stuff. I
was all about baby bottles, diapers, cleaning the house, and making food for
all of us. No problem. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Here is what I didn’t count on. Our 2-bedroom house with a POOL of all damned
things to have with a child around was now so small, it made me become crazed! I could not move left or right without
stepping on something. I couldn’t put
something away without it being dragged right back out again. Our two bedrooms had no place for computers,
printers, scanners, and all that home office stuff now that we no longer had a
home office. Our pool was a looming
angel of death that scared me in my dreams every damned night because once our
little guy starts walking, he’s making a beeline for that thing and he’s going
to drown. It was obvious we needed a new
home. But, as you may remember, the
market was so bad that we were upside down in our house. We could not sell it yet we couldn’t stay in
it. I started to shake as I realized I
was about to lose something I worked my whole life to protect. My credit.
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2 years goes by and after multiple attempts at mortgage modifications,
we had to move on from our old house and used what cash we had to buy a bigger
place and in a much better area of town near the best school district in the
state. While the market worked against
us with our old house, it worked in our favor in getting a new house for dirt
cheap. Thankfully, this one didn’t have
a pool. I started sleeping better at
night. As time went on, our boy became
potty trained, started kindergarten, became a blue ribbon swimmer (ironic,
isn’t it?) and has a very happy and healthy life. He has all the video game stuff you would
expect an 8yr old to have as well as his Ipad, fish tank, friends, and cousin
to keep his life busy. We do homework right after school, study spelling words
for his weekly tests at school and we spend every weekend doing family stuff.<o:p></o:p></div>
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While this is going on, we started thinking about
adoption. We now have quite a few years
invested in this along with a long history of financial decisions we had to
make along the way. I have given up my
career, my credit, my single gay guy figure (Really!) and my personal space. We
also have a college account going for him and weekly tutoring. We had kept an open dialog with my sister
about adoption. We finally decided to
start the process. I told her we wanted
to adopt him and I asked her how she felt about it. Her response was this. “I would never take him from his home. He is very happy with you two and I have
always wanted what was best for him.
That has been and always will be with you two as his parents”. She signed the papers giving up her official
parental rights as did the boy’s father.
His response was basically the same as hers. As I mentioned at the start of this story, I
don’t like to answer questions about this subject because of what people might
say. I am sure there are some who think,
“A mother hangs onto her child no matter what”.
No, a mother makes the best decision she can for her child, no matter
what. In this case, that’s exactly what
my sister did. She knew this wasn’t for
her and she was able to see something in me that she knew she wanted for her
son. Maybe its because when she was
growing up and our parents wouldn’t give her things she needed like attention,
she would call me up and I would be there for her. I had her back and I would provide things my
parents wouldn’t. We have always been
close because of that. I also worry that
people will say “That poor boy”. Well,
don’t feel sorry for my boy. He is an
excellent student, a fantastic swimmer and he likes baseball, music and
art. He has many friends that are
constantly wanting to hang at our house and play video games and all of his
friends parents are our best friends. He
has a dog he loves, parents that are on him about brushing his teeth, using his
manners and treating others with compassion.
He is not poor in any sense of the word.
He’s happy. And what about his
birth parents? We have no contact with his
dad. We never really did. We didn’t hassle him and there are no questions
on our end. His mom is of course my
sister and we all love her. She sends
him birthday cards, holiday cards, presents, etc. She visits ever year for over a week (She
lives in another state). She loves him and he loves her. It’s his mom and she made the best and
hardest decision for him that anyone ever had to make. How could he not love her. Everyone is happy and 8 years ago, everyone
did what was best for one little boy. No
one in our house has ever used any negative words to describe either of his
birth parents. When my boy gets old
enough to really understand what happened and why he is not with his birth
parents, I will be telling him this:
“From the moment you were born, we all knew that you would be with the
two of us (Your two dads). You were
loved then by everyone, and you are loved today by everyone. Your life is a happy one today because of the
decisions that 4 people made who will love you forever” Nobody has any regrets.
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On February 5<sup>th</sup>,of 2015, we went in front of the
judge and our boy became ours permanently.
Up to that day, I never called him my son. I always said “my boy”. I never wanted to use those words because I
was always somewhat afraid that he could be taken from me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Everyone, today I would like to proudly introduce you to our
son. <o:p></o:p><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JvLBp7ca7DA/VRBYTaQoUVI/AAAAAAAABPM/-kPiXdtwZFI/s1600/Joey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JvLBp7ca7DA/VRBYTaQoUVI/AAAAAAAABPM/-kPiXdtwZFI/s1600/Joey.jpg" height="200" width="133" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i>"Who am I? That’s simple. I am a gay parent that’s treated like a second class </i></span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>citizen and I am done taking it. </i></span></span><span style="font-size: 16pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><i>Every day I am in the battlefields, in my kid’s school, PTA meetings, swim team, birthday parties with</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><i>other parents and I am forcing people to meet me.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><i>Every day I stand right next to them and even if it’s just in my mind, I say “ Look at me will you! I am a gay </i><i>man, right in front of you. </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><i>I have a partner of 8 years and a 6r old boy. </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><i>My kid is in your kid’s class and will be for the next 11 years. </i></span></span></div>
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<i>I am not going away so now would be as good a time as any to accept me and everything that comes with </i><i>me."</i></div>
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Joe also blogs at <a href="http://1regularjoe.blogspot.com/" style="color: blue; text-decoration: none;">1 regular joe</a></div>
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Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-50934009659981623812015-02-11T11:26:00.000-08:002015-02-11T11:26:16.694-08:00Gay Dad: “I Am An Assimilating Gay”<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Droid Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px;">I recently read a comment about a truly important world event, the wedding of Lance Bass to now husband Michael Turchin.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Droid Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px;">Okay, so world news might be a bit of an overstatement but the comment was extremely interesting and got me thinking.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Droid Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px;">The commentator basically stated, and I paraphrase, that he found the fact that E News was going to be airing a show called “Lance Loves Michael: The Lance Bass Wedding” not merely nauseating but he also referred to the happy couple as “Assimilation Gays,” a term that I have seen popping up all to often.</span><br />
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Read the full article <a href="http://thenextfamily.com/2015/02/gay-dad-i-am-an-assimilating-gay/">HERE</a>Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-84229640574866955522015-02-11T10:50:00.000-08:002015-02-11T10:51:45.110-08:00Gabriel Blau, Family Equality Council's Executive Director to write the forward for "Dads Behaving Dadly: Truths Tears and Triumphs of Gay Dads."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">Gabriel, was recently named one of The Advocate magazine's 40 under 40, a Dad Fighting for All Dads.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">His tireless efforts as a representative for all LGBTQ families and our children makes him the perfect activist, warrior and gay dad for the job.</span></div>
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<strong>Gabriel Blau, 34</strong></div>
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During the big Family Equality Council events, executive director Gabriel Blau and his family often end up in photographs projected on giant screens. He and his husband and son are just one of the many families Blau is fighting for in his everyday work.</div>
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But that enormous photo on display is also a reminder of what he really does, which is volunteer his family for the scrutiny of those who oppose our marriages and our families. If you ask Blau, visibility of families is integral in the way the victories for marriage equality have unfolded.</div>
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He often highlights the fact that Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, during oral arguments over whether to scrap Proposition 8 in California, cited the "voice of these children" of same-sex parents as a big reason the law is unfair.</div>
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Family Equality Council has gone on to file what it calls the "Voices of Children" amicus briefs with the 10th, Sixth and Seventh Circuit Courts of Appeals, which put it at the center of legal battles about marriage equality in Utah, Virginia, and Oklahoma — states with cases that could potentially head to the U.S. Supreme Court.</div>
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But even with all the advances for marriage equality, Blau is a vocal reminder that gay-headed families are often the target for discrimination.</div>
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Blau, 34, is one of the leading voices in reclaiming the word "family" from the right wing, which so often uses it as code for promoting its antigay values. The politely named Family Research Council, for example, is actually designated a "hate group" by the Southern Poverty Law Center.</div>
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Family Equality Council finds itself going head to head with FRC, most recently over a bill FRC helped propose in Congress that grants a religious exemption to adoption and foster care service providers that want to discriminate against same-sex couples.</div>
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"This work is intense, tiring, and challenging. It’s also exhilarating. So when I need to recharge I go home, or at least call home," says Blau, who is often on the road. "I speak to our 6-year-old, listen to that sweet voice, and think about why this work is so important — because millions of children and families rely on what we do every day."</div>
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re-posted from <a href="http://www.advocate.com/40-under-40-emerging-voices/2014/08/19/40-under-40-garbiel-blau-dad-fighting-all-dads">ADVOCATE</a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">Be a part of history, be a part of the book. For submission information go to </span><a href="http://dadsquared.org/" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">dadsquared.org</a></div>
Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-61601249234864533632015-01-22T16:24:00.000-08:002015-01-22T16:32:52.326-08:00To Be a Dad. A Lesson in Fatherhood by Toyota, Yes I Said Toyota.<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/QEzdVV9U8Tc" width="480"></iframe><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Toyota launched a beautiful new campaigne called "The Bold New Camry."'</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Okay before go any further forget what I just said, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">forget that this video is somehow tied into to buying a car, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">forget that it was created to make a buck. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Forget all of that and sit back and watch this wonderful testament to fatherhood.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">I am one of those dads that when asked "how do you know you can be a good dad considering your childhood?" answers the same way, with the same tear rolling down my cheek, "I'm trying."</span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">When each of these kids are asked how they know their dads love them not a one of them answers based on the things they have, they all answer based on the words they hear, the kisses their fathers give them, the amount of love they are shown and the fact that these dads are present in their childrens lives.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Yeah, this video really caught me by surprise, no matter what we came from we all still have the choice and the ability to do better, to be better, to be the dads we wished we'd had.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Great job Toyota, I may just go for a test drive.</span></span><br />
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Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-69175634752141560182015-01-21T10:34:00.002-08:002015-01-21T13:14:52.488-08:00Henry Amador-Batten, One of The DADsquared Founders to Co-Author New Gay Dads Book.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Henry Amador-Batten is proud to announce that he will be co-authoring an exciting new book that will shine a light on gay dads like never before.<br />
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Award winning author Hogan Hilling, who to date has published six books on fathers and parenthood invited Henry Amador-Batten to join him on the third "Dads Behaving Dadly" book.<br />
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<b>"<i>Dads Behaving Dadly: Truths Tears and Triumphs Of Gay Dads</i>" </b>will feature gays dads, worldwide, as they share their beautiful and unique stories of fatherhood.<br />
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"With more and more gay men joining the ranks of fatherhood, there has never been a better time to share these dads, these families and these stories with the world. It has become my honor and my obligation to become a storyteller for these dads, It is my sincere wish that this book will build bridges, touch hearts and help to solidify our place within the global parenting community."<br />
<b> Henry Amador-Batten</b><br />
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Amador-Batten and Hillings invite all gay dads to share their stories and to be a part of this project.<br />
For submission information go to <a href="http://www.dadsquared.org/">www.dadsquared.org</a> or click <a href="http://dadsquared.org/dadsquared_008.htm">HERE</a><br />
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<b><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">About The Co-Authors</span></b><br />
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<b>Henry Amador-Batten</b> lives in Durham,
North Carolina and is a strong advocate for the LGBTQ community. Henry is also
a contributor to Dads Behaving Dadly II. He lives with his husband and their
three-year-old son. He and his husband were the first same-sex couple to
jointly adopt a child in Broward County Florida —setting legal precedence
for other same-sex families. He is a certified Holistic Life Coach
and specializes in teaching advanced life skills. He is the founding mind
behind the parenting blog, DADsquared and has developed it into an amazing
resource and support destination for gay dads and dads to be. <span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://www.dadsquared.org/">www.dadsquared.org</a></span><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b>Hogan Hilling</b> is a dad, Author of Dads
Behaving Dadly and six other parenting books, fatherhood expert and has
appeared on Oprah. Hilling has
co-founded and helped establish several fatherhood networks in the USA since
1992. He is also an expert on creating
father-friendly environments in the community and available as a speaker.
Hilling lives in Crestline, California. <a href="http://www.dadsbehavingdadly.com/"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">www.dadsbehavingdadly.com</span></a>. <o:p></o:p></div>
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For more information you can contact the authors at:<br />
Henry Amador-Batten: info@dadsquared.org<br />
Hogan Hilling: hogan@hoganhilling.com<br />
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<br />Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-91020048611931219792015-01-20T04:37:00.000-08:002015-01-20T04:37:21.197-08:00Man Down! A Gay Dad Waves His White Flag<br />
By Henry Amador<br />
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Tired, irritated, angry, distant, envious, tired, overwhelmed, tired, judgmental, did I say tired?<br />
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These are some of the ways I have been feeling lately and that really has me feeling, well... tired, irritated, angry, distant, envious, overwhelmed, judgmental and tired, really tired.<br />
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I was recently featured in an article on <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/how-dads-balance-work-and-family">Buzzfeed</a> about how dads balance work and family.<br />
I apparently wrote my contribution under the influence of an alter ego or perhaps a nice Riesling or through a pair of rose colored glasses or a sunny day in Winter, I'm not quite certain, but it made me feel like a fraud.<br />
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Read full article <a href="http://thenextfamily.com/2015/01/man-down-a-gay-dad-wants-to-wave-his-white-flag/">HERE</a><br />
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<br />Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-33697052900051048932015-01-17T11:01:00.002-08:002015-01-17T11:01:42.740-08:00Five Things This Gayby Doesn't Want To Hear<div class="MsoNormal">
By Dara Fischer<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Henry Amador recently wrote
an excellent article for The Next Family entitled, <a href="http://thenextfamily.com/2015/01/things-that-gay-dads-dont-want-to-hear/">"Eight Things These Gay Dads Don't Want To Hear"</a> The article was so clever and hit the nail
right on the head. After reading the
blog, I got to thinking about all the questions I have been asked over the
years being raised by gay parents, yes, a gay mom and a gay dad!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I have picked just a few to share.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><b>1. Are you adopted?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">No, I am not adopted. I am genetically 50% my Mom and 50% my
Dad. Though depending on which parent I
had ticked off that day, those percentages would increase or decrease. I also have two non-biological parents, my
Terri, whom I have written about before and my Mom’s partner. I do not differentiate between my
parents. Though I will admit to liking
Terri more than my Dad most of the time.
Dad can cook but Terri was a hairdresser who could not only perm my hair
but brush it without ripping it out.
Terri’s talents were greatly appreciated during the big hair fad of
1992. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><b>2. Are you gay since your
parents are? Isn’t homosexuality
genetic?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">My Dad and I have a lot in
common down this alley. We both
appreciate a good looking man. Since I
am female, that means that I am straight.
I have never been in a same-sex relationship or had the inclination to
do so even though I have always viewed gay relationships and straight
relationships as one in the same. Now, I
will admit to there being a few little details that genetics have blessed me
with. While I am heterosexual, I would
identify as androgynous. We have a joke
in our family that I look like my Mom and act like my Dad. Physically I am a good sized woman. I tower in height over most females and I am
built solid. Back home we call that
corn-fed but in California, it means you are a big girl. Luckily Keith likes beefy chicks. I am not classically feminine, either in
appearance or behavior. Because of this,
I am mistaken for being a lesbian quite often but on the upside, I have been
hit on by some pretty hot chicks. If I
swung that way, I bet I’d have some really great stories to tell.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><b>3. Does having gay parents
make your relationships more complicated since your parents weren’t married so
you didn’t see a “normal” marriage?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">No, in fact, I think it has
made it easier. My parents may not have
been officially married but they lived as married couples. I witnessed all the same things my friends
did but with the understanding that a piece of paper does not make a marriage,
the relationship does. Keith and I are
11 years into our relationship and we are not legally married. Not only are we not legally married, neither
of us consider that to be an issue nor do we have any plans in the immediate
future to change our marital status. My
parents taught me that I don’t have to be bound by tradition or other people’s
expectations of me. Just like my
parents, Keith and I are not bound by a legal document, we choose to be
together because we love each other. A
piece of paper is never going to be more valuable to us than the dedication we
have to one another and our children. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><b>4. Were you bullied for
having gay parents?</b><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Yes, very much so. I love my parents and just like any other
kids, I will defend their honor (well, what’s left of it anyway) to my last
breath. Most kids got into fights for
someone calling their Mom fat but I had to deal with such lovely terms as:
faggot, dyke, pansy, queer, and my personal favorite…..butt pirate. Though in all fairness, I </span>didn't<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> understand
the butt pirate comment until I was much older.
I was bullied, a lot. Even though
it was horrible at the time, what I took away from it was valuable. I have never been one to stand for
bullying. I stood up for my friends when
we were kids on a regular basis and I don’t allow my children to participate in
bullying, either as the victim or the perpetrator. A while back I found out that my daughter
had been involved in bullying another girl at our local Boys and Girls
club. I know most parents would speak
privately to their children about the issue but I </span>didn't<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> take that route. I intentionally chastised my daughter in
front of her little group of friends for being a bully and a person that nobody
actually likes. I had a few parents that
told me I was wrong for doing it but by and large I got positive feedback. While my method </span>wasn't<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> conventional, it
achieved what it was meant to. My
daughter had to feel what her victim was going through and </span>wouldn't<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> you know
it, we haven’t had an issue since.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><b>5. Who was the Mom and who was the Dad in your
family?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">When I was a kid, this
question perplexed me. Luckily by the
time I was an adult I realized that what I was being asked was what gender
roles my respective parents played in my formative years. I always thought it was interesting that the
question was posed in reference to my Dads more often than my Moms. My Dads were men. Terri was a little softer spoken, as is my
Dad’s current partner Richard, but they were still guys. My Dad is a guy’s guy. He watches football, farts, and scratches
places I don’t even want to think about.
In fact, most people don’t realize my Dad is gay when he’s not with
Richard. I can’t count how many times I
have watched women hit on my Dad…including in gay bars! Though I do feel odd seeing females pick up
on my Dad, it just seems more natural to me when he gets hit on by men. I didn't field too many questions concerning
my Moms but I think that’s because for some strange reason, people seem to view
female homosexuals are more acceptable than gay men. Though my guy buddies in high school
appreciated my two Moms but I think for a whole different reason.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></i></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></i></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></i></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">Dara Fisher. A 33 year old Mother of 3 amazing children with her Prince Charming Keith. </span></i></span><br />
<i style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">They live right outside of Palm Springs, California. Dara has degrees in Anthropology, Liberal Arts, and Business Administration. </span><br /><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">She works full time in the Hospitality Industry and attends college classes in pursuit of her MBA when she's not busy being Super Mom. </span><br /><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">She spend her spare time crocheting, quilting, and making a mess with pretty much anything she can get my hands into. She is a huge <b>Doctor Who</b>fan and can't eat while watching <b>The Walking Dead. </b></span><br /><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">Oh and she also happens to be the daughter of gay parents and the Mother of a child with Asbergers Syndrome and ADHD</span></i></div>
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Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-8900361283002036452015-01-17T10:44:00.000-08:002015-01-17T10:44:23.345-08:008 Things These Gay Dads Do Not Want To Hear.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6B9Uf0NULfw/VKFUDGfeJoI/AAAAAAAABKI/vu0ObgYbo-g/s1600/ears1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6B9Uf0NULfw/VKFUDGfeJoI/AAAAAAAABKI/vu0ObgYbo-g/s1600/ears1.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
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1. When are you going to tell him he's adopted and do you think he will take the news well?<br />
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We're not, we are planning on waiting until he is either eighteen or just senses that he's different to SURPRISE him with the news. Adoption is not a bad word, we have used the term since he was born. Firstly we are two men, as soon as the birds and the bees fly into our home he might start to get an inkling but by the time that rolls around he will be very comfortable with the idea of how our family was created.<br />
Read the full article <a href="http://thenextfamily.com/2015/01/things-that-gay-dads-dont-want-to-hear/">HERE</a>Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-59381430098224553202014-12-29T09:01:00.003-08:002014-12-29T09:02:59.535-08:00A Gay Dads New Year Message for his Three Year Old Son..<br />
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Dear little man,<br />
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It will soon be 2015, and although your little mind can not understand this yet, we are on the edge of some exciting and momentous of things.<br />
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read the full article <a href="http://thenextfamily.com/2014/12/a-gay-dads-new-year-message-for-his-three-year-old-son/">HERE</a><br />
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<br />Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-41984736938498316892014-12-28T13:36:00.000-08:002014-12-28T13:36:40.239-08:00Three Ways To Keep The Holidays Gay<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-j9FQYZzf2z0/VKB3KRO60HI/AAAAAAAABJs/zbPa3R8WN5A/s1600/gayxmas-791226.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-j9FQYZzf2z0/VKB3KRO60HI/AAAAAAAABJs/zbPa3R8WN5A/s1600/gayxmas-791226.jpg" height="224" width="320" /></a></div>
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As the new year approaches we often find ourselves feeling a
tad overwhelmed, frustrated and oh so weary.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s as if we are looking at life, at ourselves and all the
people we encounter with those horrible magnifying makeup mirrors. </div>
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Every flaw, every
nuance is exaggerated and every feeling seems designed to personally attack and
put us on the automatic defense.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We want things to be perfect. </div>
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We need things to be perfect
and quite frankly we are setting ourselves up for disaster.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I learned a long time ago that are some simple, yet powerful
actions I could put into place to avoid heartache, disaster and allowing the Grinches in.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Here are three.<o:p></o:p><br />
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Read the full article <a href="http://thenextfamily.com/2014/12/three-ways-to-keep-your-holidays-gay/">HERE</a></div>
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Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-89491786453507996602014-12-03T10:39:00.001-08:002014-12-03T10:39:04.214-08:00The Christmas Truck. A Gem of a Holiday Book for all Daddy and Papa Families.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I just had the pleasure of reading <a href="http://www.papadadandme.com/">The Christmas Truck</a> to my three year old son,<br />
He sat enthralled and excited through each and every page.<br />
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"That little boy has a Daddy and Papa just like me!' he exclaimed and there is no greater joy for me than when my boy sees his family represented, especially in such a loving and special way.<br />
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The story takes us along with a cool same-gender family as they embrace the true spirit of Christmas, The spirit of giving.<br />
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We tag along as they prepare their home and their hearts for the holidays.<br />
They teach their son about giving to others less fortunate than he and about overcoming obstacles.<br />
With the love of his family and the quick thinking of his awesome grandma nothing gets in the way of making a special Christmas wish come true.<br />
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<a href="http://www.papadadandme.com/">The Christmas Truck</a>,<br />
lovingly written by J.B. Blankenship and beautifully illustrated by Cassandre Bolan has already become one of our holiday traditions and I hope it becomes one of yours also.<br />
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<b>Click <a href="http://www.papadadandme.com/">HERE</a> to purchase this lovely book and have it in your home just in time for Christmas.</b><br />
<br />Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-72002450109972463782014-12-02T11:33:00.000-08:002014-12-02T11:33:08.831-08:00Her Side, DADsquared Shares a Surrogates Beautiful Story.<br />
One of the most amazing gifts I get from working with DADsquared is the building of relationships.<br />
I read and share stories daily from families all over the country.<br />
We hear of their struggles, their triumphs, the stumbling blocks on the road to parenthood and some of the tools that led to success.<br />
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One voice I do not share often enough is that of the surrogate.<br />
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Many of us have have become parents with their help.<br />
Some of us maintain these special relationships in so many different ways.<br />
They may be our child's special "aunt" or a close family friend.<br />
Some of our children know them truthfully as their birth-mothers and yet others may never know them at all.<br />
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Regardless of what place they may hold in our hearts they are undeniably magical, special and for many.. mysterious women.<br />
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I often hear..<br />
"how could a woman do that?"<br />
"I could never carry a baby and then give it up."<br />
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I will say that I have learned that for some surrogates it is a calling and for others, bringing a child to a gay family, is a calling that has even deeper meaning.<br />
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I recently got to know Tina Galletti, she lives in Idaho with a loving husband and her two children.<br />
Tina has helped create four families, and three of them were for gay couples.<br />
I asked Tina To share her story with us and here is what she had to say...<br />
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It all started 8 years ago while sitting with my new baby. I
remember like it was yesterday saying to my husband from across the room, " how
would you feel about me being a surrogate?" His exact words were "whatever you
want dear."<br />
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Little did he know his words would be the beginning of four
pregnancies ultimately leading to the birth of 5 boys with one more (final) one on the way.<br />
Even
better, none of us could know how full our lives would become after carrying for
some really fantastic couples three of whom are same sex daddies.<br />
I often joke
about all the great men in my life and how some day my dream is to have us all
together in one room. <o:p></o:p><br />
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My first surrogacy was wonderful resulting is in an amazing little boy. I carried him for a straight couple, a lovely couple yet something was missing, In the end I didn't have the feeling I had hoped for, </div>
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I can't really explain it but I had a sense that carrying for two men would be what I was looking for and I was definitely right.<br />
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I remember the
first phone conversation I had with a potential gay couple, the feeling was like I just had a blind
date. I felt kind of giddy with the idea they were the ones.<br />
We
worked well together from the get go and through it all I have gained an amazing and special extended part of my family.<br />
The respect they had for us through everything was
wonderful and continues to this day with frequent phone calls.<br />
The day their
boys were born and I witnessed them holding their sons for the first time was
amazing, I felt that "feeling" I was hoping for I knew that I was done making
babies.<br />
I laugh now thinking that there was no way I was done, I wasn't even close to being done.<br />
I had hoped that first gay couple would have wanted more kids because I just could not imagine carrying
for anyone else.<br />
When I was ready to get started again I remember feeling like
I needed their blessing and I got even more than that, I got whole-hearted support
from them.<br />
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I was matched with another great same sex couple and went on to
carry two more boys and have once again gained another wonderful experience. My
husband and I are called uncle and auntie and my daughter knows them as her
cousins. She loves that they all came from her mommy.<br />
Surrogacy has been part
of my 9 year old daughter’s life since she was 1 and this is all she knows.<br />
If
asked about surrogacy she will tell you exactly what is involved and how these
babies are created with love.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TJeI4FV8K2o/VH4EfcXZG9I/AAAAAAAABG8/OGYccOXxBy8/s1600/tina6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TJeI4FV8K2o/VH4EfcXZG9I/AAAAAAAABG8/OGYccOXxBy8/s1600/tina6.jpg" height="320" width="214" /></a></div>
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I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with one little boy and I can
say without hesitation this is my final pregnancy, lol!<br />
I am enjoying every
minute of babysitting this little guy for his wonderful daddies.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6Uq4siaN9nw/VH4MLbei6WI/AAAAAAAABHs/Qd56u6437Bw/s1600/tina5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6Uq4siaN9nw/VH4MLbei6WI/AAAAAAAABHs/Qd56u6437Bw/s1600/tina5.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tina and her family.</td></tr>
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I am looking forward to
the next phase of my life with my husband and children.<br />
I can’t emphasize
enough without the wonderful support of my husband I would have never been a
surrogate.<br />
He is a wonderful and giving man who loves all of these families and the
boys as if they were his own.<br />
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Being a surrogate for these wonderful families has enriched my life beyond belief.<br />
There simply are no words that can explain how blessed and happy I feel.<br />
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Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-58623544824551803992014-11-25T18:35:00.000-08:002014-11-25T18:35:06.308-08:0010 Things A Gay Parent Should Never Do.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Droid Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px;">Working as a Holistic Parenting Coach and especially working with LGBTQ families, I have learned that while many parenting issues are universal and effect all parents, there are indeed issues that arise that are unique to gay parents, and deeper still to gay dads. The following list was compiled from some of that work. It is not meant to be a definitive “how-to” list. There are some lovely treasures here. Take what resonates with your heart and remember to love one another fully, passionately and knowledgeably.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Droid Sans, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;">Read the full article <a href="http://thenextfamily.com/2014/11/10-things-a-gay-parent-should-never-do/">HERE</a></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Droid Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px;">Photo “</span><a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/purplesherbet/11997403794/" style="-webkit-transition: all 0.1s ease-in-out; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4987ac; font-family: 'Droid Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.1s ease-in-out;" target="_blank">Love Is What Really Matters</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Droid Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px;">” by </span><a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/purplesherbet/" style="-webkit-transition: all 0.1s ease-in-out; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4987ac; font-family: 'Droid Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.1s ease-in-out;" target="_blank">Purple Sherbet Photography</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Droid Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px;"> is licensed under </span><a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/" style="-webkit-transition: all 0.1s ease-in-out; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4987ac; font-family: 'Droid Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.1s ease-in-out;" target="_blank">CC BY 2.0</a>Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-28499870216750497592014-11-17T18:16:00.000-08:002014-11-17T18:16:16.868-08:0013 Breath-Taking Moments And The Gay Dads That Lived Them<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This time of year always finds me giving thanks.<br />
I give thanks for the life I have, the family and friends I have and for the moments that define me.</div>
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I wanted to reach out to just a few of the dads in my life, a few heroes that have pursued their dreams to become fathers. They have pursued those dreams against great odds and are opening doors, minds and hearts so that others will follow.</div>
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All around this world, the number of gay men choosing to become fathers is increasing, rapidly.<br />
They are setting goals, taking out loans, loosing friends, family and sometimes faith in order to have the honor and the privilege to raise a child.<br />
This journey is aw inspiring and at times emotional beyond comprehension.<br />
The journey, the destination called parenthood comes at a great cost for many of us and yet gives birth to moments of both sheer beauty and devastating pain.<br />
Moments that at their finest and at their saddest, take our breaths away.</div>
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Read the full article <a href="http://thenextfamily.com/2014/11/13-breath-taking-moments-and-the-gay-dads-that-lived-them/">HERE</a></div>
Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1954224731259301518.post-44322881858436537192014-11-08T14:01:00.000-08:002014-11-08T14:01:35.677-08:00America: Land of the Free and Home of the Gays<br />
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My husband and I recently celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. Our son and I share a birthday around the same date as well, so my family likes to plan a fun and special getaway to commemorate it all.</div>
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This year we decided to visit our nation’s capital, Washington D.C.</div>
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It seemed fitting, based on the fact that our marriage is now, <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">finally</em>, legally recognized in our home state of North Carolina and also because of the enormous strides that marriage equality has been making in recent days.</div>
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read the full article <a href="http://thenextfamily.com/2014/11/america-land-of-the-free-and-home-of-the-gays/">here</a></div>
Henry Amador-Battenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12155978466385646800noreply@blogger.com0