DADsquared℠

Feb 5 th , 2015.  We waited 8 years for this day.  When people ask me about my boy, I always say it’s a very complicated story.  Really, its not that complicated, but I don’t want to tell it in a way that makes anyone involved look as if they made mistakes or that somehow our boy was deprived in any way.  It all started 8 years ago when my sister realized she was pregnant.  She had always told me that she didn’t want kids, she just wanted dogs.  I am 18 years older than her so I have known her for her whole life. We talked about her options.  She was dating the child’s birth father and they really wanted to make it work between them, but it just didn’t.  Relationships are tricky.  Adding a baby to the mix at an early stage can really scare a new couple even thought these two knew each other from high school.  My sister had mentioned to me that T and I would be great dads.  I was somewhat shocked.  T and...

By Dara Fischer Henry Amador recently wrote an excellent article for The Next Family entitled, "Eight Things These Gay Dads Don't Want To Hear"  The article was so clever and hit the nail right on the head.  After reading the blog, I got to thinking about all the questions I have been asked over the years being raised by gay parents, yes, a gay mom and a gay dad! I have picked just a few to share. 1. Are you adopted? No, I am not adopted.  I am genetically 50% my Mom and 50% my Dad.  Though depending on which parent I had ticked off that day, those percentages would increase or decrease.  I also have two non-biological parents, my Terri, whom I have written about before and my Mom’s partner.  I do not differentiate between my parents.  Though I will admit to liking Terri more than my Dad most of the time.  Dad can cook but Terri was a hairdresser who could not only perm my hair but brush it without ripping it out....

Its just a ceremony, it doesn’t really mean anything.  I mean, we have been together for 10 years and we have a 7yr old child.  We already committed to each other long ago.  That’s what I kept telling everyone.   Its not a “Wedding” wedding, Its just a formality. We decided last year that we needed to get married.  There were many reasons for the decision. The biggest one was so I could legally change my last name in order to start the process of all three of us having the same last name.  Or course there were other reason too.  For instance, I am on T’s health insurance at his work.  His employer is nice enough to offer their health insurance to domestic partners of employees.  This means that regardless of if your partner is the same sex or different sex, they can be covered through the employee’s health insurance without being married.  The bad part is that you are taxed on that benefit.  It’s...

Many years ago, I met a young guy in his 30’s who seemed to be very nice, driven to make something of himself, and had a way with charming the people he would meet.   We became friends and have been friends every since.   He eventually opened up to me and his story was just amazing.   For argument sake, lets call this guy Ryan.   Ryan, was a very handsome guy, blonde hair, blue eyes, athletic build and he looked like the All American Man.   The guy that lived next door.   The one that every dad wants his daughter to date and marry.   But, Ryan had a secret.   Well, maybe not a secret but at least a story to tell.   He was gay, but that wasn’t the story or at least it wasn’t a secret.   We were best friends so I already knew that.   No, the story was, that for 10 years, he was part of a group that I will refer to as “Aspire”.    Aspire is a group that “helps” gay men who don’t want to be gay anymore. ...

When I was growing up as a young boy in Brooklyn, NY, I knew that I was different than many of my friends.   But, being a male I was fairly certain there were some things that I was never going to have to worry about in my life.   And, being a gay male, I thought for sure some of these things were never going to come to pass.   Well, I was wrong.   Below is a list of things that I never expected to deal with in my lifetime.     Getting Married .    Well, I thought it was pretty safe to say that I was never going to have to worry about getting married in my lifetime.   Gay = No Marriage. Then, I remember when the very first state allowed gay marriage, My partner said “Should we go to Massachusetts and get married?   I said   “Hey, don’t worry, I will marry you as soon as they allow gay marriage in Minnesota”.   I thought for sure that was pretty safe, well, on July 13th of...