DADsquared℠

photo: AwakeningTimes I can't remember when it happened, when I stop expecting to see my father.  I remember far away moments, looking out into an audience or across a room or at either side of friends and family members only to see a vacant seat. I remember distant conversations with my mom finding excuse after excuse for him. He tried honey,  he would have,  he really wanted to be here,  he’ll make it up to you,  he must have gotten tied up,  you know how busy daddy is and on and on.  It’s funny how much we believe those little white lies, how much we need to believe them, right?  So much so that each one comforts you long enough until the next one is required by our little forming brains and hearts.  Long enough to stretch out time and space.  Long enough that you no longer really believe them but still want to hear them and then long enough tha...

devastation Some of you have followed our adoption journey. You watched or read from the shadows as our little family of three grew to become four. A little back story for our new friends. My husband and I adopted our Ben at birth. We were living in South Florida at the time. He came into this world in October of 2011, almost exactly two years after we were married in Boston, MA. I honestly can't look back on my life and remember a more happy time, perhaps our wedding day but that's a close call. There are definitely pressures and fears that creep into most all adoption stories, especially when your a same gender couple, the year is 2010, the birth-mother has troubles and the nation had yet to legally recognize our family. But all of those scary thoughts and memories drifted away with each of his beautiful smiles and laughs. They took flight at each and every amazing milestone. They never stood a chance with each year that we celebrated anoth...

I recently read a comment about a truly important world event, the wedding of Lance Bass to now husband Michael Turchin. Okay, so world news might be a bit of an overstatement but the comment was extremely interesting and got me thinking. The commentator basically stated, and I paraphrase, that he found the fact that E News was going to be airing a show called “Lance Loves Michael: The Lance Bass Wedding” not merely nauseating but he also referred to the happy couple as “Assimilation Gays,” a term that I have seen popping up all to often. Read the full article  HERE

Family Equality Council's Executive Director Gabriel Blau to write the forward for our upcoming book "Dads Behaving Dadly: Truths Tears and Triumphs of Gay Dads."  Gabriel, was recently named one of The Advocate magazine's 40 under 40, a Dad Fighting for All Dads.   His tireless efforts as a representative for all LGBTQ families and our children makes him the perfect activist, warrior and gay dad for the job. We thank Gabriel for all he does and continues to do and are so proud to have him join this project. Be a part of history, be a part of the book. For submission information go to  dadsquared.org Gabriel Blau, 34 New York, D.C., Boston During the big Family Equality Council events, executive director Gabriel Blau and his family often end up in photographs projected on giant screens. He and his husband and son are just one of the many families Blau is fighting for in his everyday work. But that enormous photo on display i...

By Henry Amador Tired, irritated, angry, distant, envious, tired, overwhelmed, tired, judgmental, did I say tired? These are some of the ways I have been feeling lately and that really has me feeling, well... tired, irritated, angry, distant, envious, overwhelmed, judgmental and tired, really tired. I was recently featured in an article on  Buzzfeed  about how dads balance work and family. I apparently wrote my contribution under the influence of an alter ego or perhaps a nice Riesling or through a pair of rose colored glasses or a sunny day in Winter, I'm not quite certain, but it made me feel like a fraud. Read full article  HERE

By Dara Fischer Henry Amador recently wrote an excellent article for The Next Family entitled, "Eight Things These Gay Dads Don't Want To Hear"  The article was so clever and hit the nail right on the head.  After reading the blog, I got to thinking about all the questions I have been asked over the years being raised by gay parents, yes, a gay mom and a gay dad! I have picked just a few to share. 1. Are you adopted? No, I am not adopted.  I am genetically 50% my Mom and 50% my Dad.  Though depending on which parent I had ticked off that day, those percentages would increase or decrease.  I also have two non-biological parents, my Terri, whom I have written about before and my Mom’s partner.  I do not differentiate between my parents.  Though I will admit to liking Terri more than my Dad most of the time.  Dad can cook but Terri was a hairdresser who could not only perm my hair but brush it without ripping it out....

1. When are you going to tell him he's adopted and do you think he will take the news well? We're not, we are planning on waiting until he is either eighteen or just senses that he's different to SURPRISE him with the news. Adoption is not a bad word, we have used the term since he was born. Firstly we are two men, as soon as the birds and the bees fly into our home he might start to get an inkling but by the time that rolls around he will be very comfortable with the idea of how our family was created. Read the full article  HERE

Dear little man, It will soon be 2015, and although your little mind can not understand this yet, we are on the edge of some exciting and momentous of things. read the full article  HERE

As the new year approaches we often find ourselves feeling a tad overwhelmed, frustrated and oh so weary. It’s as if we are looking at life, at ourselves and all the people we encounter with those horrible magnifying makeup mirrors.  Every flaw, every nuance is exaggerated and every feeling seems designed to personally attack and put us on the automatic defense. We want things to be perfect.  We need things to be perfect and quite frankly we are setting ourselves up for disaster. I learned a long time ago that are some simple, yet powerful actions I could put into place to avoid heartache, disaster and allowing the Grinches in. Here are three. Read the full article  HERE

I just had the pleasure of reading  The Christmas Truck  to my three year old son, He sat enthralled and excited through each and every page. "That little boy has a Daddy and Papa just like me!' he exclaimed and there is no greater joy for me than when my boy sees his family represented, especially in such a loving and special way. The story takes us along with a cool same-gender family as they embrace the true spirit of Christmas, The spirit of giving. We tag along as they prepare their home and their hearts for the holidays. They teach their son about giving to others less fortunate than he and about overcoming obstacles. With the love of his family and the quick thinking of his awesome grandma nothing gets in the way of making a special Christmas wish come true. The Christmas Truck , lovingly written by J.B. Blankenship and beautifully illustrated by Cassandre Bolan  has already become one of our holiday traditions and I hope ...

One of the most amazing gifts I get from working with DADsquared is the building of relationships. I read and share stories daily from families all over the country. We hear of their struggles, their triumphs, the stumbling blocks on the road to parenthood and some of the tools that led to success. One voice I do not share often enough is that of the surrogate. Many of us have have become parents with their help. Some of us maintain these special relationships in so many different ways. They may be our child's special "aunt" or a close family friend. Some of our children know them truthfully as their birth-mothers and yet others may never know them at all. Regardless of what place they may hold in our hearts they are undeniably magical, special and for many.. mysterious women. I often hear.. "how could a woman do that?" "I could never carry a baby and then give it up." I will say that I have learned that for some surrogates it is a ca...

Working as a Holistic Parenting Coach and especially working with LGBTQ families, I have learned that while many parenting issues are universal and effect all parents, there are indeed issues that arise that are unique to gay parents, and deeper still to gay dads. The following list was compiled from some of that work. It is not meant to be a definitive “how-to” list. There are some lovely treasures here. Take what resonates with your heart and remember to love one another fully, passionately and knowledgeably. Read the full article  HERE Photo “ Love Is What Really Matters ” by  Purple Sherbet Photography  is licensed under  CC BY 2.0

This time of year always finds me giving thanks. I give thanks for the life I have, the family and friends I have and for the moments that define me. I wanted to reach out to just a few of the dads in my life, a few heroes that have pursued their dreams to become fathers. They have pursued those dreams against great odds and are opening doors, minds and hearts so that others will follow. All around this world, the number of gay men choosing to become fathers is increasing, rapidly. They are setting goals, taking out loans, loosing friends, family and sometimes faith in order to have the honor and the privilege to raise a child. This journey is aw inspiring and at times emotional beyond comprehension. The journey, the destination called parenthood comes at a great cost for many of us and yet gives birth to moments of both sheer beauty and devastating pain. Moments that at their finest and at their saddest, take our breaths away. Read the full article...

My husband and I recently celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. Our son and I share a birthday around the same date as well, so my family likes to plan a fun and special getaway to commemorate it all. This year we decided to visit our nation’s capital, Washington D.C. It seemed fitting, based on the fact that our marriage is now,  finally , legally recognized in our home state of North Carolina and also because of the enormous strides that marriage equality has been making in recent days. read the full article  here

I am happy to say that as I write this articles my husband and I have completed the required classes in the MAPP program, Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting for North Carolina. We received a lovely certificate as our class mates cheered as each of our family names were called. I am also happy to say that ALL three of the same-gender families that started the program were among the recipients of the coveted certificate. So what does that mean? Do we now get down to the business of meeting children and growing our families? Well....... not exactly. read the full article  here

By:  Doyin Richards Today's dads are clueless, incompetent, emotionless buffoons who don't know their asses from their elbows when it comes to childcare, right? Wrong. Dead wrong. The overwhelming majority of us (yes, I said, the overwhelming majority) are smart, loving, and just plain awesome men who put our families first. Don't believe me? Check out this compilation of photos taken directly from the  Daddy Doin' Work Instagram feed . Contrary to what you'll find in mainstream media, this diverse group of dads perfectly illustrates what life is really like for fathers all over the world. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then you should prepare yourself for an epic 21,000-word post on modern fatherhood. Enjoy. 1. Dads become supremely confident the moment their kids are born. 2. Dads know how to catch a nap even when they're outnumbered. 3. Dads always give their kids VIP seating in life. 4. Dads get pedicures with their daughte...