Saturday, June 2, 2012

Gay Dads, The Final Frontier of Parenting?

There is a war waging against Fathers raising children without Mothers.
And the surprising enemy in this battle is none other than Mothers themselves..

Now at this point I will apologize to all you Moms out there that are truly supportive of our cause..
upon further reading you may actually come to realize, not necessarily admit, that you might actually be one of the Moms I am referring to... even if only on some small level.

for the sake of this blog lets assume that two Dads raising a child is completely cool to everybody,
I know thats a bit of a stretch but imagination is good right?

So now that we know that two Dads raising kids is cool we stumble upon the next question,
how? not Why, remember its cool..
But how?... we obviously don't have the proper plumbing right? so how?

First lets take a trip down memory lane..

July of 1978, Louise Joy Brown, the worlds first "Test Tube Baby" remember her?

Do you remember thinking to yourself...
What?.. humans playing God.. creating children..!

Were you one of those that thought this technology was a miracle or a curse..?

Were those doctors, to you, a Doctor Spock or were you screaming Doctor Frankenstein?

You can answer that privately..

I will say that a Harris poll taken in August of the same year found that some 60% of Americans polled supported In Vetro Fertilization, IVF,
no doubt Heterosexual Couples struggling with having a family.

We would have no stats at that point with numbers of Gay Families having the same struggle because, well we weren't being counted back then.

By January of 1979 the second test tube baby was born.

By March of 1980 America's first IVF clinics opened and a revolution had begun..
a revolution between letting God do his will or paying a doctor to do yours.

No wonder by 1982 the Vatican had condemned IVF as immoral..
beginning the dialog that we still carry today,
that creating families by what ever means needed is still a question of morality rather than necessity.

Excepting that its 2012 not 1980!

You see for many non traditional families, or for the sake of this blog, Gay Dads in particular,
we are reliving the thoughts of those years gone by.
There are new polls being taken..
are Americans in favor of same sex this, same sex that....?
Is it shocking or not?
Is it moral or Immoral?

Come on now... don't we learn...?
These families will be created like those were..
Our children will grow like all those grew...
At the end of the day should it really matter why...?
or should it just be that question of how?

So lets jump up a few years or so...

IVF is common... although still staggeringly expensive.

People are accepting of families growing with medical help,
not such a big deal anymore..

Cue the music, curtain rises, enter Lesbian couples having babies stage left..

well... not so shocking right Moms?
I mean, the plumbing's in place, not that

Sperm donors and sperm banks are rather like bank's or McDonald's... found on every corner..
heterosexual Mothers are rather accepting..
after all they are still Mothers aren't they?

Having a Mother, or two, in the picture raising a child seems not so bad, not so immoral right?
Even Heterosexual men look at two women together as sometimes.. kind of hot right?
come on admit it?
But two Men together? hmmmmmmm
Two men raising a baby? hmmmmmmmm

That where the line seems to have been drawn..

Come on..!
(some might say)
I accepted people using In Vitro to conceive..
I finally understand the idea of eggs and donors and surrogates..
I can put up with two women having babies...
I can understand single parents,
divorced parents,
I even get Moms choosing to have children alone.
at least their women,
they can Mother,
they have breast for Gods sake! they can breast feed!.. Lord knows breast feeding is a hot topic...

Anyway i get all that,
I can deal with all that.... but two men having babies? now come on!

You see Gay Dads truly are the Final Frontier of parenthood...
All the other variables have been explored,
all the other possible matches have been made..
this is all you have left to get over...
Because, again, its not why remember?
Its How?

It's curious because so many women find the Gay men they know to be endearing, funny, loyal and trusting.
They just love thier Gay friends.

but even the most loving of them feels a little sting when they imagine our Motherless unions...
some Moms take a sort of silent offense to men raising children without them..

I don't know if its the fear of Mothers becoming obsolete?
After all two men, some sperm an egg donor a surogate and voilĂ , a Motherless child!
ah the Dr. Frankenstein thing again....

You have to remember the odds of our children being born Gay are as slim as yours,
something like 1 out of 10.
Our daughters will hopefully be Mothers....
and our sons will marry women and hopefully make them Mommies too...
(Lord knows I can't wait to be a Grandfather.)

but you know that don't you?

Thats not the fear is it?

There is something about Moms meeting two Dads that they find somewhat threatening...
What is it?
You can answer that privately..

Just remember that although were different kinds of parents, we were parented never the less,
our Mothers must have instilled enough love of family in us that the idea of family guides us to the point of being warriors...
Fighting for our rightful places as parents and looking forward to the day we can drop our figurative swords and welcome all you beautiful Mommies to our bosoms....
we can't breast feed with them, but their still warm and loving!


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  1. Thanks so much for participating in Blogging for LGBT Families Day!

  2. It's my pleasure.....Thank you!