Friday, August 31, 2012

Dear John....

Dear John,

As in Elton John.

Sadly, this letter has been a long time coming.
And as difficult as It may be for all of us, I do believe it is for the best.

Elton, we have been through so much together but as we all know, things change.

It's uncanny how similar our lives have been,
well, excepting all your money, the music stuff, the homes with the flower arranging rooms, the royal stuff, your love of the ascots, your $100,000.00 surrogate bill and so on and so forth..

But other than all that stuff, we're nearly twins.
We both married the loves of our lives, and now we are both raising beautiful baby boys.
(I do hope that your Zachary and my Ben will still stay friends after all this settles.)

Now I will say you did one up us when you started flying all that breast milk from Z's birth mom to and fro but then again that's that money stuff and I guess paying 100 grand does have it's perks.

Our Bens a Gerber boy and a happy one at that.

Lest you say I'm sounding bitter, please know that we want nothing more than the best for you, David and sweet Zachary but, unfortunately your recent actions have made it difficult for me to remain quiet.

Elton, you just keep going on and on about how fearful your are for little Z. You keep expressing how having two Dads is going to assure him a life of bulling, homophobic taunting and discrimination.

source, express UK

Really Elton?

Thats like saying that Gwynth's little Apple will be teased by all her celebrity friend's kids in their cool Upper East side private schools. (or where ever cool is!)

Really Elton?

Where's that stiff upper you Brits are known for?

Really Elton?

You've said, "Zachary is going to face a difficult childhood because of attitudes to your unusual family set up."

You've said "He may struggle with bullies because he doesn't have a mummy."

Now Elton, I really have to ask, have you lost your mind?

When exactly will you and David need to search out daycares and schools that will be accepting of your family setup in order to protect your son?

When will you be hoping to get on a school's waiting list and fearful that your setup might loose you a spot?

When will you need to introduce yourselves to teachers and administrators in order to be sure they understand your family's language, who's Daddy? who's Pappa?

When will your celebrity, your notoriety, your money, your everything not assure your sons safety, even if by being bought.

Elton, your need to constantly express this "common mans" fear for the safety of your boy has started to really piss me off.

And thats why I think we should call it quits, Elton.

Your fears can't become ours, I mean if you can't protect yours, what chance do us regular folk have?

You get where I'm coming from?

Goodbye Elton, you'll be missed.


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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Just an Ordinary Day

The Following post was written for 
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It was 5 days before our Wedding.

Soon guest would be arriving,
planes would need to be met,
hotels checked into
and hosting would begin.

My (then) Fiance and I had decided on a destination wedding.

Boston by choice,
The destination wedding part by necessity.
We still can't legally marry in our home state of Florida.

So there we were,
heading to Boston City Hall to apply for our marriage license.


That thought, that concept, going to apply for a Marriage License,
had but stomach in more of a knot than our upcoming nuptials.

Growing up as a a Gay Man, I have often prepared myself to soften the sting of discrimination by playing it all out in my head first.

How would it go?
What might they say?
How would I react?
What words would I choose?

That's how I do it, that's how I've always done it!

So as we entered that great old building I prepared myself first with the security guard as we asked which way the Marriage license office was,
down the escalator to the left he said without even looking up.
Hmmm I thought, first crisis overted.

Down we went,
Left we went,
and there it was, a simple window with a simple sign.

But for me it was so much more,
stepping up to that window with my future Husband was nothing short of a miracle.
A right so long fought for by my Gay and Lesbian Brothers and Sisters before me.
A right that we would now request and receive.

But how would that go?
Would the clerks treat us differently?
Would it be difficult?
What if they hold up our license with just days to go before our Wedding day?

As Joel and I approached the line we quickly noticed that there were 4 couples ahead of us.
Two Heterosexual,
one middled aged, holding hands.
The other, oh so young, and in love.
Behind them a Gay Couple,
behind then a Lesbian Couple,
and then, us!

When we finally reached the window and asked to apply, 
we were greeted with nothing special,
the clerk was as friendly as any city clerk can be, or is expected to be.

She handed us the application,
told us where to have a seat to complete them and what window to proceed to in order to pay, credit card or money orders only.

When we returned in the 3 designated days to pick up our license we were met with the same nothingness,
the same ordinary treatment we had received originally.
We gave them our number and they gave us our license.

Nothing more, nothing less,
we were no more special nor different than anyone else.

And that was amazing!

My Husband still says It was the most ordinary he had ever felt in his, anything but ordinary Gay life.

To some that read this it may seem silly,
What's his point? 
What's with all this ordinary stuff?
But to others that have never been able to imagine a life where they were just treated normally, equally, with the same dispassionate, non batting of an eye, given to others,
this is a loving, yet firm reminder that what you seek is alive and well and hopefully just around your corner.

My Sis and Godson witnessing
our Marriage License

So here's to being ordinary, in the most spectacular of ways!


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