Gay Dads Night Out by Joey Spinelli

It was Friday night and we just dropped off our 6yr old at the gymnastics center’s “Parents night out”.  Maybe your city has this?  Our local trampoline place does this as well as our gymnastics place.  You pay $25.00 and you can leave your kids there from 7pm to midnight.  The kids get to play all night, they get pizza, snacks and usually they have a lot of friends from school there.  They will even post photos of the kids playing on Facebook.  Sounds great right?  Well it was a tough week of work for my partner and I.  Our little guy had swim practice Monday and Wednesday, yoga on Tuesday, Kumon (after school learning program) on Tuesday and Thursday and art class on Friday.  He needed a distraction too.   We headed to the gymnastics place to drop him off and there was the usual “Ok, dads, kiss me goodbye out here in the parking lot so my friends don’t think I’m a baby”.  Then we got him checked in and we were on our way to enjoy the night ourselves.   We now had 4:55 (4 minutes and 55 seconds) left of our babyfree Friday night.  We headed right to Houston’s.  I really needed a nice, dark, quiet table for two, not three, and I could already taste that veggie burger and fries.  I don’t know why we don’t go to Houston’s anymore, I used to love it.

Well we got to Houston’s, and there was an hour wait.  An hour wait?  Oi, now I remember why we don’t come here anymore.  There is always a wait and they don’t take reservations.  That really pisses me off that chain restaurants wont take reservations.  How are you supposed to plan a night out with your spouse?  Well we are not going to wait an hour just to get seated. “BZZZT!”  Wait, my phone just alerted me that I have a Facebook notification.  I can see on my phone that there is a photo of the kids at gymnastics and my boy is holding a huge slice of pizza.   Great.  I am glad someone is getting dinner.   We are down to 4:12 and we were hungry.  We went to two other restaurants nearby and the same thing happened.  I was just about go give up when my partner suggested we call this Italian place that we had been to before but its kind of pricey.  I was willing to try anything so I called them and there was no wait.  Great, lets head over there.  

We got to the Italian restaurant and gave the valet the SUV.  I hate paying $10.00 to have the car parked but time was a-wasting and I didn’t want to argue.  We got seated to our table and the waiter came over to bring us some water.  I looked at the menu and really, $15.00 for pasta is kind of much, especially when you are a vegetarian and there is no meat in your meal.  I just bought whole grain pasta for .20 cents a box last week with coupons at Safeway.  Why does it cost $15.00 to serve it at this place?  I looked at my watch and we were now down to 3:27.  We both ordered some drinks, an appetizer and pasta entrees.  Don’t you just love eating out with your spouse?  I am always the loser at dinner and here’s why.  I will look at the menu and see something that works for me.  Then Ill ask him about what he’s getting for dinner.  He will usually say something like “Why don’t I get this meat dish and ill have a bite of whatever you get.  Ok, I don’t mind sharing a bite.  So we will order two dishes one with meat and one without.   When dinner gets there, he will try a bit of mine, which usually is surprisingly good to a meat eater who expects vegetarian meals to be bland.  I’ll eat part of my dinner because I am trying to eat smaller meals, but he will eat his meal and the rest of mine.  I of course can’t try his meal because it has meat.  So, I wind up with half a meal, and he winds up with two different meals to eat.  Isn’t love grand?  “BZZZT!”  Oh wait, another FB update, this time it’s of the kids eating ice cream sandwiches.  Great, I just realized that I am still hungry!

We were down to 2:18.   We still had time to go upstairs to the theatre and see a movie.  We stopped at the concessions stand, grab some popcorn and the concessions clerk tells me “Sorry, all out of Bunch-A-Crunch.”  What?  No Bunch-A-Crunch?  Why the hell are the doors to this place even open?  UGH!  Ok, we are down to 1:58.   The next movie to start was “The Getaway”.  This was the usual testosterone driven flick where a guy’s wife is kidnapped and the only way he can get her back is to drive some supped up hot rod around for an hour on the screen.  This movie was just terrible.  I think I hit a new low.  I found myself many times wishing that the car in the movie would come right through the screen and kill me to put me out of my misery of having to watch this horrible flick.  Is this the best role Ethan Hawke could get?  The move sucked, I don’t have any Bunch-A- Crunch and time is running out on our parent’s night out.   “BZZZT “, oh look, another photo of the kids.  Apparently they are all getting Twizzlers and popcorn while they watch “Despicable Me” in the TV room.  I am not happy.

We are down to 0:22 and its time to head over to the gymnastics place to pick up our boy.  Somehow, we just wasted 5 hours waiting in line for restaurants, eating overpriced food, and watching a horrible movie.  And, to top it all off, I’m still starving!  We got our little guy in the car and headed home.  We asked him how his night was and he said “It was great, can we do this again very soon”.   The good thing that happens after every parent’s night out is that our boy falls asleep as soon as he gets into the house.  No arguing about 15 more minutes.  No begging for 1 more story.  No pleading to talk about our day.  Nothing.  He just lies down on the couch and he’s out in less than 3 minutes.

Finally, its after midnight, we are both tired. It’s been a long night and we should be going to bed.  My partner heads to bed, but not me. What am I doing at this very late hour?  Why, I’m updating Facebook of course.  I always feel better about a disaster if I can get people to sympathize with me.   “BZZZT!”

"Who am I? That’s simple. I am a gay parent that’s treated like a second class citizen and I am done taking it. 

Every day I am in the battlefields, in my kid’s school, PTA meetings, swim team, birthday parties with

other parents and I am forcing people to meet me.

Every day I stand right next to them and even if it’s just in my mind, I say “ Look at me will you! I am a gay man, right in front of you. 

I have a partner of 8 years and a 6r old boy. 

My kid is in your kid’s class and will be for the next 11 years. 

I am not going away so now would be as good a time as any to accept me and everything that comes with me."

Joe also blogs at 1 regular joe