DADsquared℠

The adoption agency didn’t come out and ask me about my sexual orientation but they did ask about my “relationship history.”  I truthfully described my previous romantic relationships as  1) not terribly dramatic,  2) not fulfilling enough to warrant marriage, and  3) with men. It wasn’t until I was in the middle of the required parenting education program dedicated to transracial adoption that it hit me, like a ton of bricks. As the white parent of a black child there was no way I could model being black but it was critical that I model self-acceptance.  Hmm, I thought, how’s that going to work, what with me pretending to like boys and all? Now you’d probably expect me to describe a childhood growing up attending a fundamentalist church or never having any gay people in my life but you’d be wrong.  My childhood was mostly good and liberal. My mother was an interior designer so I was very familiar w...

So for nearly one year we have been dealing with an extremely difficult situation. When our son was born we made a decision to start down the path of dramatic change  for our family. Like all change it began with a leap of faith, a longing for better, a desire for more and all of it, every ounce of it , was with my son in mind. A large piece of our puzzle finally found its place and we were able to breath a lovely sigh of relief. I found myself driving home that afternoon quietly thinking about how well things had gone and how happy I was for the outcome. I glanced into my rear view and smiled as I saw my sweet boy looking out the window. The Sun lighting up his eyes each time she peeked through the trees. I was reminded why we sometimes do the things we do, and how powerful we can be when we want to be. My Grandmother always said that the person who wants to do something could always do more than the person who had to,  and yet again, she was right. Just at t...

I was recently asked by a reader why I always refer to myself as a gay dad or to my husband and I as gay fathers rather than just fathers. Now I happen to know this gentleman runs a page for fathers and he is heretrosexual and his page certainly revolves around religion. He is the type that wraps his questions in a cloak of empathy. He uses phrases like, I was just wondering, or not to be offensive but,   when all along I know he is waiting for the opportunity to battle. Even if just with words and symantics and opinions, it is still a battle he wants, one that I refuse to give him. I have met too many men and women like him in my lifetime and quite frankly I no longer have the desire or the energy to rid the world of thier thoughts. They are what they are. I have also come to realize that they are actually necessary in our world in order to see things more clearly. His views are like the night to my day , the rain to my sun,  the black to m...

As soon as I become a parent, I was already thinking about getting my kid on the wait list for the best public schools in the city. I remember when I was heating up bottles in my kitchen, I would be reading Phoenix Magazine and scanning through the top 50 schools in Arizona.    Every year, I made sure to get that issue and the one with the top 50 doctors in town.    The doctor choice was easy.    I just looked at the physicians that participated in our health care plan, and cross-referenced them one at a time with the doctors on the list.    I only had to go down to doc number 3 and that one was on my health plan.    Score! Schools, however, are much harder.    Even if you find the perfect school scholastically, it could be years before you get in.   That’s why it’s so important to plan ahead.    When the time came for grade school, we knew which school we wanted.   Preferred...

I was lucky enough to take note of this man's vision a little while back. At the time all I knew for certain was that his guy had a strong opinion and that he very clearly had the facts, logic and experience to back that strength up. I know now that he is an activist radio junkie. I know that he is an avid follower of all LGBT court cases in the system. I know that he knows all the words to all the Glee songs, and that when it comes to fighting for his families rights, this guy means business! Please meet, Joey Spinelli "Who am I? That’s simple. I am a gay parent that’s treated like a second class citizen and I am done taking it.  Every day I am in the battlefields, in my kid’s school, PTA meetings, swim team, birthday parties with other parents and I am forcing people to meet me. Every day I stand right next to them and even if it’s just in my mind, I say “ Look at me will you! I am a gay  man, right i...

               Right now the United States Supreme Court is deliberating on the gay marriage issue.   I have mixed feelings about this because I don't understand why the highest court in our Country should even need to address an issue that should be just part of our fabric in America.    Just as the Supreme Court doesn't need to hand down a ruling concerning heterosexual marriages or interracial marriages, there should be no question on the legality and necessity of gay marriage.     I have heard a couple of the arguments against gay marriage and it's clear to me that the people raising these concerns have no legitimate knowledge of the dynamics of gay families.     I would also go as far as to say that they are reaching for straws when it comes to speculating about the outcome for children raised in gay families.    These politicians act as if there is no way to know how ...

I first heard this womans thoughts as she shared and responded in our  Dadsquared  community forum. A couple of things struck me. First, her views were specific, clear and timely but more than that they seemed wrapped with a certain unique understanding that made me want to hear more. Secondly, I still remember the day when she told me " people don't always realize that it's not just Gay People that lived in the closet, often their families lived in there along side them."  That my friends was a profound statement and it's why we are so happy to have her voice heard here, along side ours. Please meet, Dara "My name is Dara.   I'm a 33 year old Mother of 3 amazing children with my Prince Charming Keith.    We live right outside of Palm Springs, California.   I have degrees in Anthropology, Liberal Arts, and Business Administration.   I work full time in the Hospitality Industry and attend coll...