DADsquared℠

There was a feeling in the air, rather like the first cool breaths of Fall, reminding one that there is a change on the way . A kind of excitement that you can't quite put your finger on. It's like everything all at once,  big as the world yet subtle, small and snug in the palm of your hand.  That's the way I feel when I'm truly happy, truly joyful. And that's how I felt the day of my Sons first birthday. 365 days and nights of sleeplessness, of fear, real or imagined . Of colds and fevers of loving and learning, and all things in-between. Here we were on his first big glorious day and all I could think of was that I wanted it to to be the cherry on that year long cake. I needed it to be a suitable celebration that would make that year proud.  I wanted color and fanfare with millions of balloons overhead. I wanted friends and family and children all gathered around. I wanted a big cake for him to dig into, and boxes and...

I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Mr. Rudy Rupak, Co-Founder and Chief Executive Officer of Surrogaycy  (clever spelling!) and  PlanetHospital . Rudy and I discussed his companies origins, history and long term goals with respect to helping the gay community grow their families. Not only did we delve into surrogacy in India but in Panama as well. I hope you enjoy reading this interview as much as I did writing it. Mr. Rupak DADsquared: How and why did you start Surrogaycy ? Rudy Rupak: In 2006, our founder did the first surrogacy overseas for a US couple.  After 3 successes, he was approached by a friend who was a gay couple and although they knew it was risky their desire for having a child was so strong they decided to go for it.  We stood by them.  Since then we have several hundred gay parents. DS: Many of my readers have been hearing a lot about surrogacy in India, are you working with any other c...

                            So our Son will be turning one in a few short weeks. We have spent the last few months visiting daycares in our area. Now if you had asked me two years ago if I would ever be the type of Dad fighting for a spot at a daycare, or praying to get my Son on a waiting list, or even willingly sitting for an "interview" with a school's director, I would have answered with a resounding "HELL NO!"  And yet here I am... guilty as charged.  We were able to quickly cross many off our list, Didn't get a great vibe, or hated the location, or one too many references to a Holy Father who's name was neither Joel or Henry. But once we narrowed down the field to our top three, things really started getting interesting. I'm going to save some of the juicier details for later but I thought you'd get a kick out of knowing what finally helped us decide. Was it...

our wedding day 10/10/09 To my dearest Benjamin, I sit and write you this letter as I celebrate being married to your Papa for three years. When I met that sweet man some seven years ago, I could have never imagined that today would not only mark our wedding day but also find us a mere 17 days away from your first birthday. No my little angel, You and your Papa were wishes that I never thought God would grant me. After we exchanged vows and put shiny rings on our fingers, we returned to our lives with a new understanding of Marriage rights and the fight that our Country was involved in regarding who deserved them and who did not. By the time you are old enough to read this letter and truly grasp its message, the idea of marriage equality will probably seem silly to you. Perhaps you have even read about this sad time in our Civil Rights Movement in your school books, assuming schools still use books. Yes my love, today as I spin this tale for you there are i...

In 1997 I looked into the eyes of a killer. I was enjoying a few drinks with friends at this great little watering hole in Fort Lauderdale called Cathode Ray . I had no way of knowing that the cute guy I was looking at across the bar would very soon take his own life. But not until he had taken the lives of four other people, including fashion designer Gianni Versace . You may remember Andrew Cunanin? Andrew Cunanin I have to say, he appeared very normal, sweet, attractive. You never would have been able to guess what he was capable of. Nor of the lives that would be lost at his hands. I have often played that evening out in my mind. I'm very big on eye contact, what happens the moment glances are exchanged. The knolwledge that is passed,  that tiny peek at the soul that it gives you. Oddly, looking over at Andrew and he looking back at me was rather benign, uneventful and disappointing. Rather like the look I got today, 15 years lat...

At the event! My Husband and I were recently asked to speak at our  Pride Center . We were part of a series called Face 2 Face, Making our Families. We shared during an evening dedicated to domestic and international adoptions for our LGBT community. On the panel was our Family, giving insights on our private adoption. There was a Gay family there who had adopted their son from Latvia. There was an international adoption specialist who works with children from Russia and the Republic of the Congo. And finally an adoption specialist who works within our Florida community. It was indeed amazing to see a room full of Gay and Lesbian couples and individuals seeking information on how to grow their families. There were also a good amount of State and County workers there to get a sense of what our little community was up to. I even recognized one of the adoption specialist from Childnet, our version of DCF sitting in the back row. They're attendance te...

The following post was written for  Ergobaby , not to be used or duplicated without the authors consent. Our Son Benjamin was born nearly 10 months ago. Of all the things people told us, the one thing that shook my existence was when we heard the following, "Well I guess your traveling days are over for a while!"  Shook my existence I tell ya! You see, my Husband and I are adventurers, we climb pyramids, we explore distant worlds, we ride camels and we live for our next trip. Pillow talk in our home revolves around things like the Taj Mahal or Machu Picchu or where we want to live next. And that is why those words sat so heavily on us. Because we were Dads now would that mean that the magic of Morocco or the secrets of the Incas could only be ours by going to Epcot Center when our boy was two or three years of age? Well no, not us I say, and thanks to our  Ergobaby Carrier  we proved all the naysayers wrong. We just returned from o...

The following was written for  It's Conceivable , and can not be used or duplicated without the authors consent. My Family and I just returned from a great adventure. Were infamous for our travels you know. We climb pyramids, ride a camel every so often, drink the water, and follow the locals. We are far from wealthy, but believe travel to be meaningful to our souls. We'll pinch a penny and brown bag it now and then in order to hit the skies. Pillow talk in our home has always been about places and cultures. Right now we are in the midst of planning where we will be as the Sun rises on my Fiftieth birth year. I'm torn between the Taj Mahal or Machu Picchu, my Husband has an Indonesian temple in mind but hey, Its my birthday right? I tell you all this so you can appreciate how we felt after our Son was born and people started saying horrible things like "Well I guess your traveling days are over for a while!" or "Disney World here...

Dear John, As in Elton John. Sadly, this letter has been a long time coming. And as difficult as It may be for all of us, I do believe it is for the best. Elton, we have been through so much together but as we all know, things change. It's uncanny how similar our lives have been, well, excepting all your money, the music stuff, the homes with the flower arranging rooms, the royal stuff, your love of the ascots, your $100,000.00 surrogate bill and so on and so forth.. But other than all that stuff, we're nearly twins. We both married the loves of our lives, and now we are both raising beautiful baby boys. (I do hope that your Zachary and my Ben will still stay friends after all this settles.) Now I will say you did one up us when you started flying all that breast milk from Z's birth mom to and fro but then again that's that money stuff and I guess paying 100 grand does have it's perks. Our Bens a Gerber boy and a happy one at ...

The Following post was written for  www.itsconceivablenow.com   Not to be reproduced without written consent by author It was 5 days before our Wedding. Soon guest would be arriving, planes would need to be met, hotels checked into and hosting would begin. My ( then ) Fiance and I had decided on a destination wedding. Boston by choice, The destination wedding part by necessity. We still can't legally marry in our home state of Florida. So there we were, heading to Boston City Hall to apply for our marriage license. Us That thought, that concept, going to apply for a Marriage License, had but stomach in more of a knot than our upcoming nuptials. Growing up as a a Gay Man, I have often prepared myself to soften the sting of discrimination by playing it all out in my head first. How would it go? What might they say? How would I react? What words would I choose? That's how I do it, that's how I've always done it! So as w...

I've been meaning to touch on this subject for some time now, Yet when I ask friends for input, some agree are totally into it, and others, not so much . The topic? Gay Men or Gay Fathers being referred to as Wives and Mommies. Okay, not that anyone asked but here's my take. Lets go back in time, think housewives, as 1950's as that sounds. Still conjures up the image of a well made up lovely apron-wearing beauty, right? Standing by the door at 5:30, martini in hand, welcoming her hard working Husband home. When Gay couples started becoming more visible, much of society, in order to be able to understand that relationship, felt the need to place us in the same scenario described above. And I'll just go ahead and say it, many Gay men, for the same reasons, needing to be understood, willingly accepted those roles. The butch one, the femme one. The more flamboyant of the two. The Man , the Woman . Don't we still to t...

The Following post was written exclusively for: http://itsconceivablenow.com/ Not to be reproduced without consent from author. *now* Please call your father! That's how my Fathers Day began, my first Fathers Day. With my husband telling me I should call my Dad. My Parents divorced when I was a baby, my Father was an absent figure for most of my adult life. In his true fashion he would pop in now and then and attempt Fatherhood, but never that well, and never for that long. I grew into the man I am without him, and that's always been fine with me. *then* October 27th 2011 was the most important day of my life, even more important than the day I married my Husband. That day in itself was magical but nothing compares to the day our Son was born. We had been introduced to a young woman who at 6 months pregnant had decided she did not want to keep her child. At 5 months she had attempted to terminate her pregnancy, however, not re...

We woke up this 4th of July wondering what great adventures we could have that day. We are nothing if not an adventurous family! With Ben just 8 months old we knew the late night fireworks were probably not going to be in our cards. And if his reaction to the recent pride parade's loud sounds was any indication, we were much better off quietly at home anyway. THE ZOO! I thought to myself. The Husband agreed, and so an adventure had begun! We lathered Ben up with Sunscreen and pulled out his newest Hat! We packed everything up that we needed for the day and headed off to Zoo Miami. We quickly realized that the sights and sounds of the Zoo and it's 6 million visitors, ( okay I stretch the truth slightly but we were obviously not the only ones that thought the Zoo on the 4th was the place to be! ) Was going to be a lot for Ben to take in. He did however love the Camels, Daddy and Ben And ...

We spend a lot time looking for great Gay Friendly Kids books to share with our readers. How excited are we to not just write about a sweet book, but its author as well! We Got personal with Claudia Eicker-Harris, Please enjoy our Interview with a proud Lesbian Mom,  Author and Pioneer! Author, Claudia Eicker-Harris DADsquared What is the current climate in South Africa for LGBT citizens? Claudia Eiker-Harris On one hand we are extremely lucky. We have one of the most liberal and accepting constitutions in the world. South Africa was the fifth country in the world to legalise same-sex marriages. We are the first (and only I believe, although I stand to be corrected) country in Africa to legalise same-sex marriages. We can walk hand-in-hand through shopping malls and down the street, in most areas. We can adopt children and have children by using donor sperm and surrogates. On the other hand there are still dreadful hate crimes being committ...