Thursday, February 23, 2012

Virginia is for lovers?

This morning over coffee I was reading a story on the news regarding the State of Virginia passing legislation banning adoptions by same sex couples.

I thought to myself, how horrible for "those" people, when I realized that I am "those" people,
my husband and I are "those" people.

I have spent so much of my life just being myself, naturally, realistically, wholeheartedly, peacefully and happily.

I gladly admit, I have never been the victim of a hate crime,
I have never suffered at the hands nor mouth of another individual due to my homosexuality..

I have always lived my life openly and honestly and therefore I live a life of beauty and choice.

While I say I have never been wronged by another being,
I have however been wronged by a group of them known as my Government.
(I'm only now feeling the need to report it.)

As a gay man, I have always dreamt of equality on some scale.

My plan was simple..
Live my life as true to myself as possible and always face the Sun, reach for warmth, the warmth in other people.

I have quietly stepped through each and every door that was unlocked and opened for me.

When domestic partnership became available,
my then partner and I went down to City Hall and applied,
just the two of us,
no fanfare,
no balloons,
just a new piece io paper in our lives that brought us a step closer to what our friends and families had.

When marriage started becoming legal in certain states,
my fiancé and I boarded a plane, this time with a few more people in tow and were married..
We came home once again with a piece of paper in our lives that brought us another step closer to what our friends and families had.

When the ban on gay adoption was overturned in our state,
we began the process of becoming foster parents in order to hopefully bring a little one into our lives.
During this process a beautiful opportunity came our way,
this time we came home with more papers..and our precious newborn Son, that brought us yet another step closer to what our friends and families had.

I tell you all this to paint a picture of our spirit.

We have never been card carrying, flag waiving, Gay men..
We can't typically help you redecorate your home,
And our telling you, that dress makes you look slender, may not always be accurate..

What we are is just a regular non traditional family trying to live a somewhat traditional life..

Our concerns are yours.
health insurance,
child care,
trying to find time for each other,
and so on and so forth.

How much more like you must we look like before we are no longer a threat?

The legislation being passed in Virginia allows agencies to deny placements that conflict with their moral or religious beliefs, including opposition to homosexuality..

What kind of morals does my family need to exhibit before we are no longer a threat?

The Legislative Democratic Minority vehemently opposed this legislation saying the intent is clearly to make it tougher for gays and lesbians to form families.

What is it really?
No home is better for these children than a Gay one?

It is extremely difficult to read this news and not personalize it.
As I stated earlier, my husband and I are "those" people.

I guess it's time to finally apply for that Gay card..

As much as I despise the rainbow flag, (I really think there should have been a Gay vote on that design!) we may, sadly, have to hoist her high above our home.

All of this made me realize that my peaceful way of being may be flawed.

Perhaps instead of walking through doors that others unlock, I should be kicking some in on my own.

I apparently have something to defend that I never dreamt I would...or should.

My Son....

and our, traditional families values!



  1. Something happens to you when the ignorance of others becomes personal, doesn't it? Great piece Henry.

  2. Lovely piece Henry. May I say something? None of this matters's all on the oustide. All that matters is what is on the inside. Inside your heart and inside your family. That's love. It's on the inside. Keep it there. Keep it safe. Keep it for your family. Sending love to you all xxxx Tracy

  3. Thank you Sue..and yes, something does indeed happen.
    and you Tracy are so right....98% of the time I am my life, in my heart, in my spirit, in my home...but every now and then I open the blinds and look out, figuratively...and am saddened by what I see, literally. xoxo