Monday, February 20, 2012

Today is one of those days...

Today is one of those days.

The kind of day that makes you look back at your life,
your decisions, your choices, your actual role in the creation of you destiny.

September 8th 2011 was the day we got a very long awaited call.
It was our fostering agency letting us know that we were officially, finally licensed foster parents.

That chapter in our life had actually begun November of 2010.

I'll go into all those details a different day but suffice it to say becoming a foster parent is not for the faint of heart and certainly not for those who aren't 100% committed to children and to family.

On September 9th 2011, the day after our congratulatory call ,we got another call from our agency asking us that magical question, are you ready to be fathers?

There was a baby available who needed a home.

All they were able to tell us at the time was that he was almost 4 months old, African American and had been sadly...abused.

We said yes, we'd take him.

the day we met Z

We had to pick him up that evening at a designated location.

He was beautiful, with his black and blues and all.
We was the most perfect little stranger.

We came home with this tiny boy, a plastic bag with a few of his belongings, and a glimps of our new family, prior to this only imagined, but all too suddenly...real.

Our little Z (I choose not to use his full name) was so fragile and quiet.

We came to find out that the day we picked him up was his actual release date from the neo-natal intensive care unit.

He was admitted due to a skull fracture (not his first) inflicted by his father.

I find it so beautiful and touching to realize that although Z suffered horribly due to the actions of his father, he was brought into a home with two new daddies that completely wrapped him in love and safety and security.

Perhaps the months he spent here with us cancelled out some of the sadness his little heart must have felt.

Life has a funny way of reminding us who's in charge..

All the while we were working towards becoming foster parents there was another life circling the heavens above..

While we were helping Z grow, that new life was also growing... inside of a person we didn't even know existed.

While we were dealing with the reality that Z might one day leave us to go live with his grandmother,
the universe was a arranging a coffee date for us to meet with a woman who couldn't keep her baby.

While we were learning to let Z spend more and more time with his birth family,
we were spending more and more time picking out our own babies name and learning to let the idea of really being fathers, legal ones, sink in.

And while our tears of sadness began to dry after the heart wrenching goodbyes of our precious Z,
the tears flowed once more, only this time of joy, as we held our son Ben for the first time.

Yes, life is in charge isn't it?

Today we sent our final letter to our fostering agency closing our home as foster parents.
We did this knowing that Z will be in our hearts forever,
and that our son will be in our arms... forever...

the day I met Ben

Yes, it's one of those days!


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